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QUICK FACTS
Kids who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crime, to
be involved in alcohol-related traffic crashes, and to have serious school-related
problems. You have more influence on your child’s values
and decisions about drinking before he or she begins to use alcohol.
Parents can have a major impact on their children’s drinking, especially
during the preteen and early teen years. &
INTRODUCTION With so many
drugs available to young people these days, you may wonder, “Why develop
a booklet about helping kids avoid alcohol?” Alcohol is a drug,
as surely as cocaine and marijuana are. It’s also illegal to drink under
the age of 21. And it’s dangerous. Kids who drink are more
likely to:
Be victims of violent crime. Have
serious problems in school. Be involved in drinking-related traffic
crashes.This guide is geared to parents and guardians of young
people ages 10 to 14. Keep in mind that the suggestions on the following pages
are just that—suggestions. Trust your instincts. Choose
ideas you are comfortable with, and use your own style in carrying out the approaches
you find useful. Your child looks to you for guidance and support in making life
decisions—including the decision not to use alcohol. “But my
child isn’t drinking yet,” you may think. “Isn’t it a
little early to be concerned about drinking?” Not at all. This is the age
when some children begin experimenting with alcohol. Even if your child is not
yet drinking alcohol, he or she may be receiving pressure to drink. Act
now. Keeping quiet about how you feel about your child’s alcohol
use may give him or her the impression that alcohol use is OK for kids.It’s
not easy. As children approach adolescence, friends exert a lot of influence.
Fitting in is a chief priority for teens, and parents often feel shoved aside.
Kids will listen, however. Study after study shows that even
during the teen years, parents have enormous influence on their children’s
behavior. The bottom line is that most young teens don’t yet drink.
And parents’ disapproval of youthful alcohol use is the key reason children
choose not to drink. So make no mistake: You can make a difference.(Note:
This booklet uses a variety of terms to refer to young people ages 10 to 14, including
youngsters, children, kids, and young teens.)
YOUNG TEENS AND ALCOHOL: THE RISKSFor young
people, alcohol is the drug of choice. In fact, alcohol is used by more young
people than tobacco or illicit drugs. Although most children under age 14 have
not yet begun to drink, early adolescence is a time of special risk for beginning
to experiment with alcohol. While some parents and guardians may feel relieved
that their teen is “only” drinking, it is important to remember that
alcohol is a powerful, mood-altering drug. Not only does alcohol affect the mind
and body in often unpredictable ways, but teens lack the judgment and coping skills
to handle alcohol wisely. As a result:
Alcohol-related traffic
crashes are a major cause of death among young people. Alcohol use also is linked
with teen deaths by drowning, suicide, and homicide.
use alcohol are more likely to be sexually active at earlier ages, to have sexual
intercourse more often, and to have unprotected sex than teens who do not drink.
Young people who drink are more likely than others to be victims of violent
crime, including rape, aggravated assault, and robbery. Teens
who drink are more likely to have problems with school work and school conduct.
The majority of boys and girls who drink tend to binge (5 or
more drinks on an occasion for boys and 4 or more on an occasion for girls) when
they drink.
A person who begins drinking as a young teen is four
times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than someone who waits until adulthood
to use alcohol.The message is clear: Alcohol use is very risky
business for young people. And the longer children delay alcohol use, the less
likely they are to develop any problems associated with it. That’s why it
is so important to help your child avoid any alcohol use. &
YOUR YOUNG TEEN'S WORLD Early
adolescence is a time of immense and often confusing changes for your son or daughter,
which makes it a challenging time for both your youngster and you. Understanding
what it’s like to be a teen can help you stay closer to your child and have
more influence on the choices he or she makes—including decisions about
using alcohol.
Changes in the Brain. Research
shows that as a child matures, his or her brain continues to develop too. In fact,
the brain’s final, adult wiring may not even be complete until well into
the twenties. Furthermore, in some ways, the adolescent brain may be specifically
“wired” to help youth navigate adolescence and to take some of the
risks necessary to achieve independence from their parents. This may help explain
why teens often seek out new and thrilling—sometimes dangerous—situations,
including drinking alcohol. It also offers a possible reason for why young teens
act so impulsively, often not recognizing that their actions—such as drinking—can
lead to serious problems.
Growing Up and Fitting In.
As children approach adolescence, “fitting in” becomes extremely important.
They begin to feel more self-conscious about their bodies than they did when they
were younger and begin to wonder whether they are “good enough”—tall
enough, slender enough, attractive enough—compared with others. They look
to friends and the media for clues on how they measure up, and they begin to question
adults’ values and rules. It’s not surprising that this is the time
when parents often experience conflict with their kids. Respecting your child’s
growing independence while still providing support and setting limits is a key
challenge during this time.
A young teen who feels that
he or she doesn’t fit in is more likely to do things to try to please friends,
including experimenting with alcohol. During this vulnerable time, it is particularly
important to let your children know that in your eyes, they do measure up—and
that you care about them deeply.
That according to a recent national survey, 16 percent
of eighth graders reported drinking alcohol within the past month?
That 32 percent of eighth graders reported drinking in the past year?
That 64 percent of eighth graders say that alcohol is easy to get?
That a recent survey shows that more girls than boys ages 12 to 17 reported
drinking alcohol?
THE BOTTOM LINE: A STRONG PARENT–CHILD RELATIONSHIP
You may wonder why a guide for preventing teen alcohol use is
putting so much emphasis on parents’ need to understand and support their
children. But the fact is, the best way to influence your child to avoid drinking
is to have a strong, trusting relationship with him or her. Research shows that
teens are much more likely to delay drinking when they feel they have a close,
supportive tie with a parent or guardian. Moreover, if your son or daughter eventually
does begin to drink, a good relationship with you will help protect him or her
from developing alcohol-related problems.The opposite also is true: When
the relationship between a parent and teen is full of conflict or is very distant,
the teen is more likely to use alcohol and to develop drinking-related problems.
This connection between the parent–child relationship and a child’s
drinking habits makes a lot of sense when you think about it. First, when children
have a strong bond with a parent, they are apt to feel good about themselves and
therefore be less likely to give in to peer pressure to use alcohol. Second, a
good relationship with you is likely to encourage your children to try to live
up to your expectations, because they want to maintain their close tie with you.
Here are some ways to build a strong, supportive bond with your child:
Establish open communication. Make it easy for your teen
to talk honestly with you. (See box “Tips for Talking With Your Teen.”)
Show you care. Even though young teens may not always show
it, they still need to know that they are important to their parents. Make it
a point to regularly spend one-on-one time with your child—time when you
can give him or her your loving, undivided attention. Some activities to share:
a walk, a bike ride, a quiet dinner out, or a cookie-baking session.
Draw the line. Set clear, realistic expectations for your
child’s behavior. Establish appropriate consequences for breaking rules
and consistently enforce them.
Offer acceptance.
Make sure your teen knows that you appreciate his or her efforts as well as accomplishments.
Avoid hurtful teasing or criticism. Understand that your
child is growing up. This doesn’t mean a hands-off attitude. But
as you guide your child’s behavior, also make an effort to respect his or
her growing need for independence and privacy.
REASONS FOR TEENS NOT TO DRINK
You want your child to avoid alcohol.
You want your child to maintain self-respect. You
want them to know drinking is illegal. Drinking at their age can
be dangerous. You may have a family history of alcoholism.
TIPS FOR TALKING WITH YOUR TEENDeveloping
open, trusting communication between you and your child is essential to helping
him or her avoid alcohol use. If your child feels comfortable talking openly with
you, you’ll have a greater chance of guiding him or her toward healthy decisionmaking.
Some ways to begin:
Encourage conversation. Encourage your child
to talk about whatever interests him or her. Listen without interruption and give
your child a chance to teach you something new. Your active listening to your
child’s enthusiasms paves the way for conversations about topics that concern
Ask open-ended questions. Encourage your teen to tell you
how he or she thinks and feels about the issue you’re discussing. Avoid
questions that have a simple “yes” or “no” answer.
Control your emotions. If you hear something you don’t like, try not
to respond with anger. Instead, take a few deep breaths and acknowledge your feelings
in a constructive way.
Make every conversation a “win-win”
experience. Don’t lecture or try to “score points” on your teen
by showing how he or she is wrong. If you show respect for your child’s
viewpoint, he or she will be more likely to listen to and respect yours.
TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN ABOUT ALCOHOL For
many parents, bringing up the subject of alcohol is no easy matter. Your young
teen may try to dodge the discussion, and you yourself may feel unsure about how
to proceed. To make the most of your conversation, take some time to think about
the issues you want to discuss before you talk with your child. Consider too how
your child might react and ways you might respond to your youngster’s questions
and feelings. Then choose a time to talk when both you and your child have some
“down time” and are feeling relaxed. You don’t need to
cover everything at once. In fact, you’re likely to have a greater impact
on your child’s decisions about drinking by having a number of talks about
alcohol use throughout his or her adolescence. Think of this talk with your child
as the first part of an ongoing conversation. And remember, do make it
a conversation, not a lecture! You might begin by finding out what your child
thinks about alcohol and drinking.Your Child’s Views About
Alcohol. Ask your young teen what he or she knows about alcohol and what
he or she thinks about teen drinking. Ask your child why he or she thinks kids
drink. Listen carefully without interrupting. Not only will this approach help
your child to feel heard and respected, but it can serve as a natural “lead-in”
to discussing alcohol topics. Important Facts About Alcohol.
Although many kids believe that they already know everything about alcohol, myths
and misinformation abound. Here are some important facts to share:
Alcohol is a powerful drug that slows down the body and mind. It
and impairs vision, clear thinking, and judgment.
Beer and wine are not “safer” than hard liquor. A 12-ounce can
of beer, a 5-ounce glass of wine, and 1.5 ounces of hard liquor all contain the
same amount of alcohol and have the same effects on the body and mind.
On average, it takes 2 to 3 hours for a single drink to leave a person’s
system. Nothing can speed up this process, including drinking coffee, taking a
cold shower, or “walking it off.”
People tend to
be very bad at judging how seriously alcohol has affected them. That means many
individuals who drive after drinking think they can control a car—but actually
Anyone can develop a serious alcohol problem, including
a teenager.Good Reasons Not to Drink. In talking
with your child about reasons to avoid alcohol, stay away from scare tactics.
Most young teens are aware that many people drink without problems, so it is important
to discuss the consequences of alcohol use without overstating the case. Some
good reasons why teens should not drink:
want your child to avoid alcohol. Clearly state your own expectations
about your child’s drinking. Your values and attitudes count with your child,
even though he or she may not always show it.
To maintain
self-respect. Teens say the best way to persuade them to avoid alcohol
is to appeal to their self-respect—let them know that they are too smart
and have too much going for them to need the crutch of alcohol. Teens also are
likely to pay attention to examples of how alcohol might lead to embarrassing
situations or events—things that might damage their self-respect or alter
important relationships.
Drinking is illegal.
Because alcohol use under the age of 21 is illegal, getting caught may mean trouble
with the authorities. Even if getting caught doesn’t lead to police action,
the parents of your child’s friends may no longer permit them to associate
with your child.
Drinking can be dangerous.
One of the leading causes of teen deaths is motor vehicle crashes involving alcohol.
Drinking also makes a young person more vulnerable to sexual assault and unprotected
sex. And while your teen may believe he or she wouldn’t engage in hazardous
activities after drinking, point out that because alcohol impairs judgment, a
drinker is very likely to think such activities won’t be dangerous.
You have a family history of alcoholism. If one or more members
of your family has suffered from alcoholism, your child may be somewhat more vulnerable
to developing a drinking problem.
Alcohol affects young
people differently than adults. Drinking while the brain is still maturing
may lead to long-lasting intellectual effects and may even increase the likelihood
of developing alcohol dependence later in life. The “Magic
Potion” Myth. The media’s glamorous portrayal of alcohol
encourages many teens to believe that drinking will make them “cool,”
popular, attractive, and happy. Research shows that teens who expect such positive
effects are more likely to drink at early ages. However, you can help to combat
these dangerous myths by watching TV shows and movies with your child and discussing
how alcohol is portrayed in them. For example, television advertisements for beer
often show young people having an uproariously good time, as though drinking always
puts people in a terrific mood. Watching such a commercial with your child can
be an opportunity to discuss the many ways that alcohol can affect people—in
some cases bringing on feelings of sadness or anger rather than carefree high
spirits. How to Handle Peer Pressure. It’s not enough
to tell your young teen that he or she should avoid alcohol—you also need
to help your child figure out how. What can your daughter say when she goes to
a party and a friend offers her a beer? (See “Help Your Child Say No.”)
Or what should your son do if he finds himself in a home where kids are passing
around a bottle of wine and parents are nowhere in sight? What should their response
be if they are offered a ride home with an older friend who has been drinking?
Brainstorm with your teen for ways that he or she might handle these and
other difficult situations, and make clear how you are willing to support your
child. An example: “If you find yourself at a home where kids are drinking,
call me and I’ll pick you up—and there will be no scolding or punishment.”
The more prepared your child is, the better able he or she will be to handle high-pressure
situations that involve drinking.
THE COOL SPOTIt’s not always easy to
get through to adolescents. Parents need all the help they can get. NIAAA’s
Web site for middle schoolers, thecoolspot.gov, is an interactive tool
designed specifically for kids. The site helps parents reinforce many of the ideas
presented here, including:
A “reality check” on the
drinking behavior of their peers (not everyone drinks).
Compelling
reasons not to drink.An inside look at peer pressure, how to recognize
it, and how to avoid it.The most effective ways to say “no”
to drinking.Help your child better understand the risks of underage
drinking and ways to resist peer pressure. Log on together .
Mom, Dad, Did You Drink When You Were a Kid?This
is the question many parents dread—yet it is highly likely to come up in
any family discussion of alcohol. The reality is that many parents did drink before
they were old enough to legally do so. So how can one be honest with a child without
sounding like a hypocrite who advises, “Do as I say, not as I did”?
This is a judgment call. If you believe that your drinking or drug use
history should not be part of the discussion, you can simply tell your child that
you choose not to share it. Another approach is to admit that you did do some
drinking as a teenager, but that it was a mistake—and give your teen an
example of an embarrassing or painful moment that occurred because of your drinking.
This approach may help your child better understand that youthful alcohol use
does have negative consequences.
HOW TO HOST A TEEN PARTY
a guest list—and don’t admit party crashers. Discuss
ground rules with your child before the party. Encourage your
teen to plan the party with a responsible friend so that he or she will have support
if problems arise. Brainstorm fun activities for the party.
If a guest brings alcohol into your house, ask him or her to leave.
Serve plenty of snacks and non-alcoholic drinks. Be visible
and available—but don’t join the party! &
TAKING ACTION: PREVENTION STRATEGIES FOR PARENTS
While parent–child conversations about not drinking are
essential, talking isn’t enough—you also need to take concrete action
to help your child resist alcohol. Research strongly shows that active, supportive
involvement by parents and guardians can help teens avoid underage drinking and
prevent later alcohol misuse.In a recent national survey, 64 percent of
eighth graders said alcohol was “fairly easy” or “very easy”
to get and 32 percent reported drinking within the last year. The message is clear:
Young teens still need plenty of adult supervision. Some ways to provide it: Monitor
Alcohol Use in Your Home. If you keep alcohol in your home, keep track
of the supply. Make it clear to your child that you don’t allow unchaperoned
parties or other teen gatherings in your home. If possible, however, encourage
him or her to invite friends over when you are at home. The more entertaining
your child does in your home, the more you will know about your child’s
friends and activities.Connect With Other Parents. Getting
to know other parents and guardians can help you keep closer tabs on your child.
Friendly relations can make it easier for you to call the parent of a teen who
is having a party to be sure that a responsible adult will be present and that
alcohol will not be available. You’re likely to find out that you’re
not the only adult who wants to prevent teen alcohol use—many other parents
share your concern.Keep Track of Your Child’s Activities.
Be aware of your teen’s plans and whereabouts. Generally, your child will
be more open to your supervision if he or she feels you are keeping tabs because
you care, not because you distrust him or her. Develop Family Rules
About Youthful Drinking. When parents establish clear “no alcohol”
rules and expectations, their children are less likely to begin drinking. Although
each family should develop agreements about teen alcohol use that reflect their
own beliefs and values, some possible family rules about drinking are:
Kids will not drink alcohol until they are 21. Older siblings
will not encourage younger brothers or sisters to drink and will not give them
Kids will not stay at teen parties where alcohol is
Kids will not ride in a car with a driver who has been
drinking.Set a Good Example. Parents and guardians
are important role models for their children—even children who are fast
becoming teenagers. Studies indicate that if a parent uses alcohol, his or her
children are more likely to drink as well. But even if you use alcohol, there
may be ways to lessen the likelihood that your child will drink. Some suggestions:
Use alcohol moderately.
Don’t communicate to your
child that alcohol is a good way to handle problems. For example, don’t
come home from work and say, “I had a rotten day. I need a drink.”
Let your child see that you have other, healthier ways to cope
with stress, or talking things over with
your spouse, partner, or friend.
Don’t tell your kids stories
about your own drinking in a way that conveys the message that alcohol use is
funny or glamorous.
Never drink and drive or ride in a car with
a driver who has been drinking.
When you entertain other adults,
serve alcohol-free beverages and plenty of food. If anyone drinks too much at
your party, make arrangements for them to get home safely.
HELP YOUR CHILD SAY NO Your child can learn
to resist alcohol or anything else he or she may feel pressured into. Let him
or her know that the best way to say “no” is to be assertive—that
is, say no and mean it. RESIST THE PRESSURE TO DRINKSay
no and let them know you mean it.
Stand up straight.
Make eye contact. Say how you feel. Don’t
make excuses. Stand up for yourself.
Don’t Support Teen Drinking. Your attitudes and behavior
toward teen drinking also influence your child. Avoid making jokes about underage
drinking or drunkenness, or otherwise showing acceptance of teen alcohol use.
Never serve alcohol to your child’s underage friends. Research shows that
kids whose parents or friends’ parents provide alcohol for teen get-togethers
are more likely to engage in heavier drinking, to drink more often, and to get
into traffic crashes. Remember, too, that in almost every State it is illegal
to provide alcohol to minors who are not family members.
Child Build Healthy Friendships. If your child’s friends use alcohol,
your child is more likely to drink too. So it makes sense to try to encourage
your young teen to develop friendships with kids who do not drink and who are
otherwise healthy influences on your child. A good first step is to simply get
to know your child’s friends better. You can then invite the kids you feel
good about to family get-togethers and outings and find other ways to encourage
your child to spend time with those teens. Also, talk directly with your child
about the qualities in a friend that really count, such as trustworthiness and
kindness, rather than popularity or a “cool” style. When you
disapprove of one of your child’s friends, the situation can be tougher
to handle. While it may be tempting to simply forbid your child to see that friend,
such a move may make your child even more determined to hang out with him or her.
Instead, you might try pointing out your reservations about the friend in a caring,
supportive way. You can also limit your child’s time with that friend through
your family rules, such as how after-school time can be spent or how late your
child can stay out in the evening.Encourage Healthy Alternatives
to Alcohol. One reason kids drink is to beat boredom. So it makes sense
to encourage your child to participate in supervised after-school and weekend
activities that are challenging and fun. According to a recent survey of preteens,
the availability of enjoyable, alcohol-free activities is a big reason for deciding
not to use alcohol. If your community doesn’t offer many supervised
activities, consider getting together with other parents and teens to help create
some. Start by asking your child and other kids what they want to do, because
they will be most likely to participate in activities that truly interest them.
Find out whether your church, school, or community organization can help you sponsor
a project.
COULD YOUR CHILD DEVELOP A DRINKING PROBLEM?
This booklet is primarily concerned with preventing teen alcohol
use. We also need to pay attention to the possibility of youthful alcohol abuse.
Certain children are more likely than others to drink heavily and encounter alcohol-related
difficulties, including health, school, legal, family, and emotional problems.
Kids at highest risk for alcohol-related problems are those who:
Begin using alcohol or other drugs before the age of 15.
a parent who is a problem drinker or an alcoholic. Have close
friends who use alcohol and/or other drugs. Have been aggressive,
antisocial, or hard to control from an early age. Have experienced
childhood abuse and/or other major traumas. Have current behavioral
problems and/or are failing at school.
Have parents who do not
support them, do not communicate openly with them, and do not keep track of their
behavior or whereabouts.
Experience ongoing hostility or rejection
from parents and/or harsh, inconsistent discipline.The more of
these experiences a child has had, the greater the chances that he or she will
develop problems with alcohol. Having one or more risk factors does not mean that
your child definitely will develop a drinking problem, but it does suggest that
you may need to act now to help protect your youngster from later problems. Talking
with your child is more important now than ever. If your child has serious behavioral
problems, you may want to seek help from his or her school counselor, physician,
and/or a mental health professional. And if you suspect that your child may be
in trouble with drinking, consider getting advice from a health care professional
specializing in alcohol problems before talking with your teen (see box “Warning
Signs of a Drinking Problem”). To find a professional, contact your family
doctor or a local hospital. Other sources of information and guidance may be found
in your local Yellow Pages under “Alcoholism” or through one of the
resources listed at the end of this booklet.
WARNING SIGNS OF A DRINKING PROBLEMAlthough
the following signs may indicate a problem with alcohol or other drugs, some also
reflect normal teenage growing pains. Experts believe that a drinking problem
is more likely if you notice several of these signs at the same time, if they
occur suddenly, and if some of them are extreme in nature.
changes: flare-ups of temper, irritability, and defensiveness. School
problems: poor attendance, low grades, and/or recent disciplinary action.
Rebelling against family rules. Switching friends, along with
a reluctance to have you get to know the new friends. A “nothing
matters” attitude: sloppy appearance, a lack of involvement in former interests,
and general low energy. Finding alcohol in your child’s
room or backpack, or smelling alcohol on his or her breath. Physical
or mental problems: memory lapses, poor concentration, bloodshot eyes, lack of
coordination, or slurred speech. &
ACTION CHECKLIST
Establish a loving,
trusting relationship with your child. Make it easy for your teen
to talk honestly with you.
Talk with your child about alcohol
facts, reasons not to drink, and ways to avoid drinking in difficult situations.
Keep tabs on your young teen’s activities, and join with other parents
in making common policies about teen alcohol use. Develop family
rules about teen drinking and establish consequences. Set a good
example regarding your own alcohol use and your response to teen drinking.
Encourage your child to develop healthy friendships and fun alternatives to
drinking. Know whether your child is at high risk for a drinking
if so, take steps to lessen that risk. Know the warning
signs of a teen drinking problem and act promptly to get help for your child.
Believe in your own power to help your child avoid alcohol use.
RESOURCES Join Together
Partnership for Drug-Free Kids
352 Park Avenue South, 9th Floor
New York, NY 10010
(212) 922&#
address: A
national resource center for communities across the nation that are working to
prevent alcohol and other drug abuse. National Council on Alcoholism
and Drug Dependence 244 East 58th Street, 4th Floor
New York, NY 10022
(800) NCA–CALL (622&#)
(toll- 24-hour affiliate referral)
Internet address: Provides
educational materials on alcohol abuse and alcoholism as well as phone numbers
of local NCADD affiliates who can supply information on local treatment resources.
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism 5635 Fishers
Lane, MSC 9304
Bethesda, MD 2;9304
(301) 443&#
address: Makes
available free informational materials on many aspects of alcohol use, alcohol
abuse, and alcoholism.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
Administration
National Drug Information Treatment and Referral
800HELP (4357) (toll free)
Internet address:
information, support, treatment options, and referrals to local rehab centers
for drug or alcohol problems. Operates 24 hours, 7 days a week.&
OTHER NIAAA RESOURCES AND PUBLICATIONS If
you are interested in learning more about alcohol abuse and alcoholism, NIAAA
has developed a number of resources for the public:
—Web
site developed specifically for children ages 11 through 13. See box, above.
A Family History of Alcoholism: Are You at Risk?—pamphlet
containing basic information for anyone who is concerned about a family history
of alcoholism. Lists organizations that can help relatives or friends of alcoholics.
English version: NIH Publication Number 03&#; Spanish version: NIH Publication
Number 04&#–S.To order, write to: National Institute
on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, Publications Distribution Center, P.O. Box 10686,
Rockville, MD 2;0686, or access the full text of the above publications
online at .&
Publication No. 14-4314
Published 2003
Revised 2009