雅思+大作文（通讯类）+求高手评分_百度知道
雅思+大作文（通讯类）+求高手评分
telephone is undoubtedly the most successful one which brings greatsconvenience to our human beings.We just use the telephone to communicate with a remote friend frequently.Do you think its advantagesoutweigh its disadvantages.
Though some disadvantages are there aboutthe telephone, we can have a talk withanother one who is thousand miles away just by dialing the correct number, if we use the telephone in aright and healthy manner, it also causessome troubles. Unlike letters which just contain the handwriting, and they keep contacting with their friends and family membersthrough telephone, we can even be closer to each other via telephone communication.
All in all. Personally speaking, I think advantages do outweigh thedisadvantages, it will be convenient for us and save time for us on the conditionthat it was used properly, it can express our inner thoughts clearly through thetelephone：
Millions of new technologies have beenapplied to our daily since the industrial revolution. A large number of people are addictive to the use oftelephone题目：Discuss the advantages anddisadvantages of the telephone. Since everything has two sides. Among these high-techproducts. Onthe other hand, itestablishes gaps between people. Without telephone, people would chat with eachother via face-to-face talk more often.作文.On one hand. Also. Within just a few seconds, their precious time is wasted. As a result.
One of the disadvantages may be that itis time-consuming, telephone canconvey our voice and accents to others and make our inner thoughts expressedclearly, we will get a great deal of benefits from it. Also, the telephone still has many positive effects on our daily life
提问者采纳
.2, correct 实在是多余， Also. 你太多相当然的中式英语了真的要扭过来不然没法提高第三段1，可以改成，重写吧骚年，直接用consequently 或者 in consequence就好5。你这篇文章我的评分是，你放个and做连词肯定是逻辑错误。如果用做日常生活要写daily life。！.，结尾太快.。，而不是你现在的用法表示并列， itestablishes gaps between people也是中式英语，致命的错误，应为！建议改成Additionally，it will be convenient。.，而且这句话和上半句显然是解释和递进关系而不是并列关系，dialing a number即可8. 我知道你要表达的意思，没有总结上文内容.，那么应该是 telephones
still have。改为 our community更合适。4：4。2。建议用形式主语代替，或者 In my opinion6， We要避免
We just use the telephone to communicate with a remote friend frequently.，contact本身就是名词不用keep contacting., it also causessome troubles。用 to be more specific更恰当.这个没必要用形式主语10，谈论的是与你上篇相反的论点， you，比如 it is easy to have a talk with，it will be convenient for us and save time for us on the conditionthat it was used properly..语序失当，什么叫their precious time is wasted，daily名词的意思是日报，初中用法，telephone is the most，或者直接说 I Suppose.这句话的冠词有问题.. 改为 Smartphone can be used to express our inner thoughts clearly，改为
from my perspective，比如however，As a result太生硬，Since everything has two sides，telephone这个词儿太老掉牙了3, we can ，直接跟smartphone就好，删掉其中一个！.，太俗第二段..7， A large number of people太低级，这句话没意义第一段,
telephone is undoubtedly the most successful one，undoubtedly，建议重写5.6.,
it can express our inner thoughts clearly through thetelephone，这样的话段落完整分基本丢光了，it has the side effect to strengthen family ties， 连we都要尽力避免.。建议改写。.雅思写作不但不建议用 I，词汇量和语法都太过单薄了！..，而不是 on one hand4，一般现在时即可！On the other hand 一定是表示转折，In one hand， the telephone
still has many ，Personally speaking太低端，5！.3。。, Within just a few seconds，On the other hand, Our human beings没有这么用的.第四段1！。我是一名海外在读博士生，
Though some disadvantages are there aboutthe telephone。这句话的含义我看不懂， just by dialing the correct number，但是use显得多余而且冗长， 什么叫我们人类。.建议你好好看一下 the a an 和复数的用法3，建议你改写成：1， be addictive to 后面跟名词是没错，你离6还差距不小. 这句话纯粹中式英语，自认为英语还不错., we can even be closer to each other via telephone communication.5分骚年还需努力啊， I think 和 （Personally speaking）语义重复，是因为正规的学术写作不允许这个,9.。11，不要用 think.。改为 a majority 更好2：1，你是想表达手机有好处？纯中式英语要重写6.纯中式思想，已经留学四年。你想表示转折的方法很多， 没必要将来时，完全没必要堆字数写这么一句奇奇怪怪的话上去..这句话just加的好诡异：Large amounts of time and energy can be saved if certain applications of
smartphones could be used by people in right way..！，建议改成These are the dominate reasons for people to communicate their friends by smartphone frequently，至少重新总结一下正反双方观点。4
你一定画了不少时间看吧，真的谢谢你哈！
不客气，我当年考雅思也是愁没有人给我改作文，这种郁闷能感受到，所以就力所能及的改了，你需要作文批改的话去找你们大学的英语老师，他们过了专八水平应该还可以
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出门在外也不愁雅思大作文评分标准_百度知道
雅思大作文评分标准
但他要求是两边论证，但这种情况格式肯定不对，谢谢，再最后5分钟我才发现，补了一段？迫切希望哪位达人回答我的问题，那大概能得多少分啊这回我的雅思大作文用的是一边倒写法
我有更好的答案
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但是，防止产生理解上的偏差。由此看来，对于单词。但这个论据也是不得体的，说赵括就是典型的有很多兵法等理论知识。具体说来；强调in fact，那就应该是接近于误解, moreover；Communicative Quality（交流质量），因为题目涉及的是大学应该怎么做, as a consequence，exemplification（举例说明），这种建议是缺乏依据的，雅思写作涉及的词汇量并不是大得令人生畏：Nowadays：We can hardly imagine what our life will be like without wild animals，古代的例子通常不适宜在雅思作文中出现；附加in addition。其次, because of this，考生还应注意到这道题考的不是泛泛的青少年犯罪的原因与解决方法。Communicative Quality（交流质量）大体上与Task 1的Coherence and Cohesion相同. To what extent doyou agree or disagree with this opinion，因为猫不属于wild animals（野生动物），那可能是因为对于所涉及的题材不了解, until. Analyze the possible causes of this phenomenon。另外. 这里。议论文在Vocabulary and Sentence Structure方面与Task 1的要求相同，并且能够证明论点，导致题目中的单词不认识；结果as a result, but。有的考生可能题目里面每个单词都认识依然写跑题，绝大多数考生写跑题都是因为这个因素. Do you agree or disagree，论据合理, there will be more mice，考生应该仔细审题，猫的论据是不合适的. For example。比如上面这句话中tension可能是个生词。再比如，这充分说明了只有理论知识没有实际经验的恶果, if there is no cat. Do you agree or disagree。比如。常用的论证手法有, furthermore。正确的做法应该是原因写二至三段：There is an increasing number of juvenile delinquents，concession and refutation（让步与反驳），自己也命丧沙场，那么就是犯了忽略重点的错误, nevertheless，但依然写跑题，应该注意的是不要出现跑题；Vocabulary and Sentence Structure（词汇与句子结构）? 有同学这样写道。对于Ideas（内容）而言，如果没有把原因进行详细分析而贸然提出建议的话：explanation（解释说明）, following。常用的关联词有：Arguments，cause and effect（因果论证）。所以，而且也熟悉话题，大概有六七千左右，从而写作的时候写离题了, before, while等, as well as。论证手法的运用还应该和关联词结合起来。比如, it is very important to protect animals. It is pointless to try and keep them alive：对比however, indeed，没话可说, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. 许多考生都会注意到这道题考的是青少年犯罪话题, Ideas and evidence涉及对于议论文的内容要求。好的Arguments（论证）应该是充分并且有力的, also，可以推断tension应该和understanding（理解）形成反义词。雅思议论文涉及contemporary social issues of common interest（人们普遍感兴趣的当代社会问题）, such as, including? 有同学在论证这道题的时候举了赵括“纸上谈兵”的例子。对于Evidence（论据）来说，也涉及文章中代词. Do you agree or disagree：Task 2（议论文）的三方面评分标准是，许多情况下只是作为反面例子与现今状况形成对比，关键要合理，论点和论据）。有的考生由于词汇量有限，这道题是没法写的，而且应该分析原因并提出解决办法，应试时根据上下文推断。考生万一碰到个把单词不理解的话。事实上, between，结果写一段, for instance，关联词. Unfortunately，但是如果考生能想到rather than表示对比关系的话，那很有可能是因为没有抓住写作重点，所以应该重视实际经验，如果原因只写了一段而建议写了数段的话，analogy（比喻）等，即紧张关系的意思, during，The university should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give students more practical training? 如果考生不懂international tourism是什么意思的话。事实上，导致秦赵长平之战中赵兵大败, otherwise，还有的考生不但认识题目中的每个单词，而是为什么现在青少年犯罪人数越来越多的原因和建议, therefore，完全可以通过上下文加以推测，而赵括明显没有上过大学, Ideas and Evidence（论证，应该是内容切题，考生应该平时注意积累, additionally，考生应该平时注意这方面的知识积累和主动思考；时间after, although：When a country develops its technology，emphasis（强调论证），definition（下定义）, and offer some recommendations，论证充分? 如果考生毫不了解所谓的传统技能和生活方式的话，comparison and contrast（比较与对比）facts and statistics（事实和统计数据）；举例for example。因为。Arguments。比如，即便出现了，classification（分类）。比如Wild animals have no place in the 21st century and trying to protect these animals is a waste of resources，同义反义词等的运用. The increase in the number of mice will result in the reduction of food resources and the spread of diseases, and, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures, the traditional skills and ways of life die out。这就需要运用多种论证手法议论文评分标准，肯定对此束手无策，但是由于缺乏带兵打仗的实际经验. Thus。但是
楼上老大 哪里COPY来的啊 无语啊 你的答案~ 要我是考官 我会给你6的
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