I’m sorry I apologize so much
Women like me constantly use the dreaded phrase, even when we know we shouldn't. So why do we keep doing it?
, Dame Magazine
apologies,
This piece originally appeared on .
When I was 6, my constant refrain, encouraged by a friend (though “frenemy” is probably more accurate) was, “I’m sorry, do you still like me?” I don’t remember all the details, but the words left my mouth with such frequency they surely ceased to mean anything. I’m more disturbed that over 30 years later, at my core, I haven’t changed all that much—that desire to be liked by everyone seeps into my vocabulary and way of thinking on a daily basis, and the fear of not being liked may lead me to lean in less, and kowtow more.Last week,
that tackled the highly gendered issue of apologizing. Titled
it shows women apologizing for asking a question, for speaking at the same time as someone else, and a host of other everyday interactions.
and was both
for its blunt approach to the topic and
for adding another “should” to women’s daily lives and capitalizing on the language of feminism. The ad is part of Pantene’s “, which tells us “Strong is beautiful.”More from DAME: I’m not going to get into the merits of their campaign, because I’m much more interested in the fact that the desire to apologize is so deeply engrained into my mindset—and many other women’s. In the past week, I’ve had a friend in the midst of a major move apologize for not being in touch, another friend apologize for not having more time off to spend with me during my vacation in her area of the country, and an editor apologize for not being able to accept a pitch of mine. In my opinion, none of these warranted an apology.I’m as guilty as I was when I was 6—except at 38, I should know better. Yet I don’t. When I mentioned I was writing about apologizing, my boyfriend told me, “You do it all the time.” I’ve debated over how to follow up about work prospects because I didn’t know if I should lead with “I’m sorry to bother you”—even if I wasn’t—or to simply launch into my question. I’ve apologized to my dentist for waiting so long in between appointments, to a colleague for asking to reschedule a meeting, to friends for not giving clear enough directions, and for accepting an offered ride when I could have taken a train. When I make little apologies, they often come from a place of deep insecurity. I don’t want to offend the other person, or burden them, and I think that if I don’t apologize, I’ll be seen as ruthless and selfish.Yet the worst thing the other person can say—despite my doomsday negative fantasies—is “No.” Recently, I was staying with a friend visiting New York with her daughter, crashing on her hotel room’s sofa. The next day, her father came to visit, and I wasn’t sure if they had room for me to stay another night. Instead of just straight-up asking, I waited and waited, worrying she’d either a) say yes but resent me, or b) be offended that I’d asked. I was apologetic about even making the request, as if our friendship hung in the balance. In a way, I’m grateful she said no, because I found out that it wasn’t the end of the world—I found another place to stay, and the matter was soon forgotten, save for my takeaway lesson: that it’s better to ask whatever question you need to ask fast, like pulling off a Band-Aid, rather than prolonging it and going over umpteen what-if scenarios in your head.More from DAME: The unnecessary apology is a preface that allows us to be absolved of our imaginary sins, but hinders true communication. Women do it for the : because we want to be seen as friendly, easygoing, accommodating. We don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but in the process, we’re stomping all over our own. When someone tells me they’re sorry for something I know they don’t have a good reason to apologize for, I’m taken aback. I start to wonder why they’re apologizing, because it undermines the meaning of that apology, rendering “I’m sorry” meaningless.
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In a 1997 interview with The Paris Review,
was asked, “You are known for being nice. Can a woman afford to be too nice?” This is how she responded:I have a great interest in being ladylike, but there is also something to be said for being direct. What I hate about myself and would like to change is that I get hurt very easily. I’m too vulnerable and always have been. I don’t look vulnerable. I always think vulnerable girls should have Pre-Raphaelite hair, weigh two pounds, about whom everybody says, “Oh, she’s so sensitive.” I admire aggressiveness in women. I try to be accommodating and entertaining, and some say that’s what’s wrong with my plays. But I think there are very good things about being a woman that have not been taught to men—not bullshit manners but true graciousness. I think there is real anger in life to be expressed, there is great injustice, but I also think there is dignity. That is interesting, and part of the plays I want to write. What I love about her answer is that she admits to that vulnerability openly, rather than couching it behind an apology or need to be seen as overly strong, 24/7. Being vulnerable is something that’s been tagged “female” but is in fact a human emotion, and can co-exist with strength and even the aggressiveness Wasserstein spoke of. To me, embracing my vulnerability probably always will be a challenge, whether it’s with those closest to me or perfect strangers. Because I never learned to develop an even marginally thick skin, I resist leaving myself open to being hurt or even criticized. To combat any potential barbs, I apologize in advance, so people know that I know how wrong I am, to my core. Beneath my penchant for apology is a belief that someone else’s answer is always going to best mine, and that unless they agree with me on every point, I should be apologizing.
More from DAME: The rational side of me knows that unless I’ve truly wronged someone, I don’t need to apologize, but the urge persists. At Time,
is “a tyrannical lady-crutch. It’s a space filler, a hedge, a way to politely ask for something without offending, to appear ‘soft’ while making a demand.” Indeed, and it’s deeply gendered. In a 2010 study published in Psychological Science,
more frequently, which researchers concluded was in part because men “have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior.”Linguist Deborah Tannen claims we don’t have to apologize for saying “sorry,” though, because it’s not always meant as an expression of personal apology. As she told
blog, “It’s focused out—as in, ‘I’m sorry that happened’—but is often taken as an expression of an internal state, as in ‘I think everything is my fault.’” I can’t help but think that even the passive type of “sorry” is still overblown, and can make the person saying it somehow believe they’re to blame, even if all they’re saying is, “Sorry the weather’s so bad today.” Of course they know they have no control over it, but by apologizing anyway, they’re taking on some of the blame by default.I’m planning to try to guard against over-apologizing the way I guard against biting my nails—by stopping myself mid-action. Like tossing around the word “love,” when used too often, the reflective, almost subconscious apology fails to have any substantive meaning. I make my fair share of actual mistakes, and those deserve the gravity only a true apology can bring, the kind that requires far more careful though than a hastily tossed out “I’m sorry.”&
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众所周知，芬兰以金属乐队而闻名，优秀的乐队也层出不穷，例如Nightwish，HIM，The Rasmus和Children Of Bodom，个个都是名声在外。但是在去年，大部NEGATIVE分的芬兰音乐杂志都把Negative评为年度最佳乐队，其核心人物Jonne同时也在日本被评为“2004年度最佳(Rock Star of The Year 2004)”。Negative的处女单曲《The Moment Of Our Love》以及专辑《War Of Love》在芬兰得到了金唱片销量Negative的第二张专辑的第一支单曲《Frozen To Lose It All》直冲芬兰单曲榜榜首。被称为新世纪的Guns’n’Roses。
乐队于1997年
在组建，一开始只有3个成员，包括现在的Jonne和Jay。那时候他们还在读高中，风格类似于Nirvana，Jonne像Kurt Cobain那样负责吉他和主唱。Jonne把乐队命名为Negative，是因为他们的歌词总是描写积极的东西，充满了希望，与“Negative”这个代表着消极的词语正好相反，也包含了“生活就是由矛盾和冲突组成的”的含义，更展开说，这也包括了摇滚的“革命”的主张。同时由于Jonne对Nirvana的推崇，“Negative”某种程度上也出于有着和Nirvana有同样的首字母N的考虑。乐队随后相继加入了Antti，Larry，和Sir Christus。他们以5人的阵容完成了第一张专辑《War Of Love》。在制作第二张专辑之前，乐队又加入了新成员Snack。
这样便形成了乐队目前的阵容：
Jonne Aaron (主唱),
Larry Love (吉他),（已离队）
Sir Christus (吉他)（已经退出乐团），
Antti (贝司),
Jay (鼓) ，
Snack (键盘)。
早在，网络上就“Negative中那个金发的到底是谁？——男孩还是女孩？”不断有人进行激烈的争辩。他具有非常柔和的面部轮廓和线条，长而耀眼的金发，全身像女孩子一般光滑的皮肤——如果Jonne是一个女孩，这一切也就不会让人如此惊讶了。而且他的星座是处女座，他喜欢穿女式的短小上衣，戴闪亮的丝绸围巾，当然他也喜欢化妆。在台下的Jonne非常害羞，总是没有勇气主动和别人搭话，即使他想找人聊聊，也宁可只是一个人坐着看别人。乐队的生活帮助他克服了一些胆怯。他也是个的人，喜欢蜡烛和草莓，喜欢“”的故事。虽然他的服装他的外貌以及经常亲吻乐队的其他成员的行为总会让人认为他是同性恋，但他并不是，他认为这只是兄弟之间的爱。总之，他就是天生的尤物，无可否认地轻而易举地成为了人们的焦点所在。
作为乐队的核心人物，同时也是主唱、作词、作曲的Jonne Aaron常说，“要永远相信你的梦想”，而他自己就是一个最为典型的例子。今年年初在芬兰播出了他的个人纪录片，叙述了一个小男孩如何不断追求梦想，从孤儿院中走出，成为的故事。他也希望能通过这个纪录片来帮助一些有家庭问题的孩子走出困境，用乐观的态度来积极面对。Jonne Aaron全名Jonne Aaron Liimatainen，他的妈妈是根据猫王Elvis Aaron Presley为他命名的，也许他从出生的时候就注定了和音乐的。在他12岁那年，他的父母离婚了，他母亲长期酗酒使他不得不搬去父亲那里，但父亲这里的情况也不理想，他只能被送去了孤儿院。他的父亲送给他吉他并教他怎样弹奏，他的祖母则作为父母的结合体将他带大，并教会了他什么是爱什么是家庭。Jonne有两个兄弟，分别是弟弟Ville和哥哥Tommi。Tommi对他的影响很大，从小到大对他照顾了很多。他说他可以不在乎让父亲知道他抽烟，但他不能不在乎Tommi的意见。现在Tommi作为Negative的经纪人，依然一如既往地照顾着Jonne。他的童年虽然艰难，但他并不觉得自己是不幸的。他小时候的理想是成为一个飞行员，但是他不得不放弃了，因为他总是晕机。当他18岁离开孤儿院的后，他先去了一家幼儿园工作。他非常喜欢孩子，和他们一起唱歌，在他们睡熟后他独自一人弹吉他，从那时候起，他决定组建一个乐队。在幼儿园工作的经历使他学会了真诚地对待别人和音乐。乐队录制了一张小样也进行了一些非常成功的演出，受到了人们的欢迎，但是没有唱片公司愿意和他们签约，因为唱片公司希望Jonne能够单独发展以取得更大的成功。最后几经周折，他们终于与当地的一家唱片公司GBfam签约，开始了初步的宣传和发展。
与别的不同的是，Jonne并不认为自己的工作是简单而有趣的。自从他们在1997年进行了他们的第一次演出后，他对“甜蜜的摇滚生活”的幻想已经完全消失了。如今成功的是从血水和汗水中来的，比以往的任何时候都更加困难。他们必须在得到别人的赏识之前就去无数的地方进行无数的演出，有些地方甚至都很难在地图上找到。Jonne患有哮喘，这对于一个摇滚歌手来说更是显得困难重重。他不得不随时随地带着呼吸器，甚至是在舞台上。大量的演出让他的身体更加虚弱，他经常因为过度的工作而晕倒。有时他们必须在一天之内去三个不同的地方进行三场演出。在日本的行程安排就是一个例子，他们必须在6天中去5个不同的城市进行演出，同时还要在每个城市反复地和歌迷及公司代表见面，并且接受大量的采访，每两个采访之间的休息时间只有不可思议的一分半钟。艰苦奋斗换来的成绩是值得让人欣慰的，但这点成功并不能让Jonne感到满足，因为他的目标不仅仅在于芬兰和欧洲，而是整个地球，有必要的话甚至包括月球。
Negative把自己的音乐风格称为“emo-rock”，也就是指Emotional Rock'n'Roll。尽管他们经常被拿来和芬兰的其他乐队作比较，例如HIM,TO/DIE/FOR,或是Sentenced，但是他们并不认为他们受到过这些乐队的影响。他们的音乐源于芬兰的传统音乐，在抒情歌曲的基础上加入强劲的，歌词大多是美好而积极的，表达了各种感情，而不仅仅是愤怒。他们的音乐是美丽的旋律和摇滚的结合。对Jonne影响最大的还是Nirvana，Guns’n’Roses以及Aerosmith。乐队初期走的是post-grunge的风格，现在则处于和之间的位置，这并非是出于对商业的考虑，因为Jonne相信如果他们玩grunge也能挣得很好。音乐风格之所以和过去会有如此大的转变，正是因为每个乐队都需要几年的时间去摸索和创建他们自己独特的风格，他们最初想成为一个乐队，而他们现在正在做他们想做的音乐。随着人生的阅历和厂长的经验积累，这种转变是自然而然的。他们多彩绚丽的的服装复兴了华丽摇滚的传统，也是对Steven Tyler和Axl Rose的尊重，同时也反映出他们音乐的多重感情——也许这一点在第一次听他们音乐的时候还很难发现。他们不愿意像大多数芬兰乐队那样穿着黑色的紧身衣，发出单调乏味的呻吟，宣称无尽的消沉才是伟大的哥特本质，只为了自私地宣泄感情而忽视了歌迷的感受。Negative从来不会烦扰到听众，他们使听者振作，特别是在冰冷而又绵长的冬天给他以希望之光。
Negative的音乐最大的特点就是真诚，对他们自己、歌迷还有记者。每一个见过他们演出的人都能很明显的发现他们与其他芬兰乐队的区别。把他们和其他乐队相比是毫无意义的。他们的音乐完全表达了他们的真实情感，讲述他们生活中的真实故事，从不撒谎。在专辑中除了两首歌是为了纪念曾经和他相处过的人，他们的歌大部分来自于Jonne的浪漫的幻想，这就像一本他个人的日记，记录了他的种种感受和印象。他的歌词大都有关他的个人生活，他的爱情。这对于他来说是唯一的摆脱消极情绪的方法。有些人跑到街上砸碎橱窗的玻璃，或是彼此斗殴，以此来抗议这个世界的残酷和丑恶。他把这些负面的消极的情绪通过歌曲来发泄出来。这也正印证了乐队的名字“Negative”。他是一个敏感而又容易受伤的人，所以大部分的歌词都相当浪漫但也有一些自我毁灭的意味。也许只有在芬兰又长又冷的冬天才能创造出如此忧郁的歌词，而不是阳光灿烂的洛杉矶。
今年一月，Negative和HIM，The Rasmus等乐队同台，在Hartwall Arena进行慈善演出，一起为在中受难的人们筹款。在休整了一个多月后，他们的单曲和专辑相继在德国发行，并接受了德国电台和电视台的采访，德国的巡演也正在计划中。然而这一切只是一个开始，他们的目标是整个世界。没有理由否认他们将会成为最伟大的乐队之一，这也正是Negative的目标。当年演出前，Jonne总会因为过度紧张，在后台的地板上躺半小时不能起来，或是兴奋地呕吐，他也曾说过：“即使买不起吃的，也要继续摇滚。我可以的指甲，我要按自己的方式生活下去。”现在他们已经成功了，他需要考虑的是如何继续下去。也许这对于他来说已经不是问题了，因为Negative乐队有足够的自信。当被问到“如果让你列一个芬兰乐队的名单，你会把哪个放在首位？”，Jonne的回答是：“多么奇怪的问题。当然是Negative！”
一些有关Jonne的其它：
如果可以选择的话，Jonne最想拥有的超能力是飞翔。
在巡演的路上，Jonne的“基本设备”之一是睫毛膏。
Jonne的座右铭：Life is an orange.它的含义是，尽管别人看见橙子艳丽的外表会想到它新鲜的内在，但通常它是腐烂的。
如果Jonne可以影响一个人的话，他会说：1.生活是一个橙子 2.生活并努力地生存 3.永远相信你的梦想。
1.Sir Christus现在已经退出，并且其没有参加专辑Karma Killer的录制。
2. Larry Love继Sir Christus之后也离开了乐队
2．关于新增成员问题，官方表示Negative不会再加入新的成员了，他们会保持五个人的阵容。
3．Negative最近发售的是一张B-SIDES，叫做'God Likes Your Style',可以到他们的官方MySpace进行试听。
（该列表来自消极乐队中国官方MySpace）
Karma Killer
Release date 07.05.2008
01. A Devil on my Shoulder
2． Sealed
3． Won’t Let Go
4． Motherfucker (Just Like You)
5． Giving Up!
6． An Ornament
7． Dead As We
8． Anna Simona
9． Lust N’ Needs
10． Gravity Of Love
Won’t Let Go -digital single
Release date 16.04.2008
01. Won’t Let Go
In the Eye of the Hurricane DVD
Release date 26.01.2008
LIVE AT PAKKAHUONE,TAMPERE,FINLAND,DEC. 8,2006
Glory of the Shame
My My Hey Hey (Out of the Blue)
Reflections
Sinners’ Night / Misty Morning
Embracing Past
Frozen to Lost It All
Lost Soul (Instrumental Song)
One Last Shot
Planet of the Sun
L.A Freeding Fire
The Moment of Our Love
In Memorian (Immortal Song)
Still Alive / A Song for the Broken Hearted
Until Your’re Mine
In My Heaven
MUSIC VIDEOS
The Moment of Our Love
Frozen to Lose It All + Making Of
In My Heaven + Making of
Planet of the Sun + Making of
Sinners’ Night / Misty Morning
- Interview 2007 18min
- Jonne Aaron /
Mr. Snack /
Larry Love /
Sir Christus /
Antti Anatomy /
jay Slammer
AROUND THE WORLD
- Documentary 1h 44min
FAN VIDEOS
Live at Konzerthaus Schuur,Lucerne,Switzerland,November 16,2006
FAN PHOTOS
PHOTO GALLERY
+ HIDDEN LINKS
Fading Yourself -single
Release date 14.03.2007
01. Fading Yourself
02. Lost In America
03. In Memoriam (live)
04. Fading Yourself (acoustic)
Sinners’ Night / Misty Morning -single
Release date: 29.11.2006
01. Sinners’ Night / Misty Morning (radio edit)
02. Sinners’ Night / Misty Morning (album version)
03. Heroine (acoustic jam)
Release date: 27.09.2006
01. Arrival
02. Glory Of The Shame
03. Reflections
04. One Last Shot
05. Fading Yourself
06. Planet Of The Sun
07. A Song For The Broken Hearted
08. Sinner’s Night / Misty Morning
10． Stop F*in’ Around
11． Embracing Past
12． We Can’t Go On
13． In Memoriam (Immortal Peace)
Planet of the Sun
Release date: 06.09.2006
01. Planet Of The Sun
02. Planet Of The Sun (original extended version)
03. Heroine (Studio live)
My my,hey hey (Out of Blue) -single
Release date: 22.6.2005
1． My My,Hey Hey (Out of the blue)
2． Dream Flowers
3． Something
Dark Side - Until You’re Mine -single
Release date: 16.2.2005
1． Until You’re Mine
2． Black Light
Bright Side - About My Sorrow -single
Release date: 16.2.2005
1． About My Sorrow
2． God likes you
In My Heaven -single
Release date: 20.10.2004
1． In My Heaven
2． Better Without You
3． In My Heaven (video)
Sweet & Deceitful
Release date: 1.9.2004
2． Frozen To Lose It All
3． Creeping Inside
4． Locked In The Dark
5． In My Heaven
6． My My/Hey Hey (Out Of The Blue)
7． Neverending Parade
8． L.A. Feeding Fire
9． Until You Are Mine
10． About My Sorrow
11． Secret Forgiveness
12． Angels Won..t Lie
Frozen to Lose Tt All -single
Release date: 19.5.2004
1． Frozen to Lose it All
2． My Personal Sensitivity
Still Alive -single
Release date: 12.12.2003
1． Still Alive (new version)
2． Still Alive album version
3． Lost soul (acoustic)
4． Still Alive (live video).
War of Love -limited edition
Release date: 5.12.2003
(Limited edition,2000 copies)
1． Lost Soul
3． After All
4． Misery
5． The Moment of Our Love
6． Inspiration
7． 1000 Nails in My Heart
8． Bleeding
9． Goodbye
10． Last Hero
11． Still Alive
12． Video The Moment of Our Love
Extra material:
+ Loving you
+ Childhood memories
+ Bleeding (acoustic)
+ extra video material
After All -single
Release date: 13.06.2003
1． After All
2． Goodbye (acoustic version)
3． Bonus video material
War of Love
Release date: 28.3.2003
1． Lost Soul
3． After All
4． Misery
5． The Moment of Our Love
6． Inspiration
7． 1000 Nails in My Heart
8． Bleeding
9． Goodbye
10． Last Hero
11． Still Alive
12． Video The Moment of Our Love
Moment of Out Love -single
Release date: 18.02.2003
1． The moment of our love
2． Dying feelings
3． The moment of our love (acoustic)
God Likes Your Style-single.
Release date:17.6.2009
Release date:2.6.2010
No One Can Save Me Tonight
End Of The Line
Love That I Lost
Blood On Blood
Celestial Summer
Jealous Sky
Days I`m Living For
Since You`ve Been Gone
Kiss Of Hope
Fucking Worthless
注：以上所列部分歌曲在官方MySpace（下面有链接）有试听，如果你喜欢，请购买正版。
Karma Killer 全部歌词
A Devil On My Shoulder
Take a look at me
Years behind me have made me disabled
My will and strength lives in me...
It was loud to keep me stable...
No matter what!
No matter what!
No matter what!
Hear me pray for the pain and to suffer
It's all a game we're destructive to each other
Life is short,an open chord,in a bad tone...
From now on there's a devil on my shoulder
Why I'm still here in this godless scene
Going six feet under
She's the burning ground
Beneath my feet for too long
And I should tell her...
No matter what!
No matter what!
Hear me pray for the pain and to suffer
It's all a game we're destructive to each other
Life is short,an open chord,in a bad tone...
From now on there's a devil on my shoulder
Hear me pray for the pain and to suffer
It's all a game we're destructive to each other
Life is short,an open chord,in a bad tone...
From now on
No more for me to follow
No wrong or right
There's no need to say things twice
No matter what I'll survive
With a devil on my
A devil on my shoulder...
---------------------------------------------
Only sorrow and pain
Will fill your heart tonight
Only thing that will remain
Could it get worse?
It's a one way street down
With every gasp it hurts
Never pleasant kinda way
This love was a curse
And we were just framed
It all comes back crying out your name
Only sorrow and pain
Will fill your heart tonight
Only thing that will remain
Is your heart next to mine
Sorrow and pain...
Only sorrow and pain
There was a time
When you walked in beauty
Now you're alone
But there are millions just like you
Why should you fight
No one's safe from the cruelty
The worst part is yet to come...
Only sorrow and pain
Will fill your heart tonight
Only thing that will remain
Is your heart next to mine
Sorrow and pain...
Only sorrow and pain
Only sorrow and pain
Will fill your heart tonight
Only thing that will remain
Is your heart next to mine
Sorrow and pain...
Only sorrow and pain
------------------------------------
Won't Let Go
When hearts are blessed with a fire and steals our faith
We decide to get rid of desires that we can't escape
How much more your tired heart can take
The time will show that our secrets won't be safe
I won't let go of things that I was dreaming
I won't let go of you,you keep me believing
And deep in my heart there's a place that I could never show to you
I won't let go of you,my dear
If we trust our love to take us to a place unknown
Even we're not sure if we could get back on our own
No way out,I am tired heart can tell
It breaks me down,it kills me
I won't let go of things that I was dreaming
I won't let go of you,you keep me believing
Deep in my heart there's a place that I could never show to you
I won't let go of you my dear
I won't let go of things that I was dreaming
I won't let go of you,you keep me believing
And deep in my heart there's a place that I could never show to you
And deep in my heart there's a place that I could never show to you
I won't let go of you my dear
-----------------------------------------
Motherf*cker (Just Like You)
Since birth you wandered on the streets
Doing drugs to kill bad self-esteem
Never looking out for compromise
Now you′re gone in hell and I realize.. that I′ve seen...
Motherfuckers,motherfuckers,just like you
Who don′t know,who don′t know,what they should do with their lives
Motherfuckers,motherfuckers just like you
Take a look outside it all could be yours
Unsophisticated demanding force
Am I wrong,I warned you for so long?
Always waiting for the next storm to come... that I′ve seen
Motherfuckers,motherfuckers just like you
Who don′t know,who don′t know,what they should do with their lives
Motherfuckers,motherfuckers just like you
Who don′t know,who don′t know,what they should do
Just get a life man
Just get a life man,just get a life man
Just get a life man,you better do it fast
Just get a life man
Now get out of your trap
Just get a life man,you better do it fast
Just get a life man
Now get out of your trap
And I′ve seen
Motherfuckers,motherfuckers just like you
Who don′t know,who don′t know,what they should do with their lives
Motherfuckers,motherfuckers just like you
Who don′t know,who don′t know,what they should do with their lives
Just get a life man,you better do it fast,just get a life man
---------------------------------------
Giving up!
Hate,what will it take
When all that is left
Is a long waited sweet revenge
I'm giving up,giving up my pride for you
I'm giving up,giving up my trust in you
My dear old friend good times we had
But I ain't no one's fool
Let there be light and a better future
With every blink of an eye
Your lies will destroy her
So I'm giving up,giving up my pride for you
I'm giving up,giving up my trust in you
And every minute now
You're drifting away
It's a fact we can't deny
Let there be light and a better future
With every blink of an eye
Your lies will destroy her
So I'm giving up,giving up my pride for you
I'm giving up,giving up my trust in you
Let there be light and a better future
With every blink of an eye
Your lies will destroy her
So I'm giving up,giving up my pride for you
I'm giving up,giving up my trust in you
My trust in you
My trust in you
-------------------------------------
An Ornament
Don′t say “I′m sorry” again,
It doesn′t give you the right…
To be someone else
I would be pleased to love and share
But inside I′m locked I can′t even cry
Love only matters,when it comes to the end
Love only matters makes you rise again
I′m just an ornament,an ornament to your face
Not enough,but it feels right,
You keep me alive when you hold me tight
Both ends are burning fast
Would you stand by me
When things are getting bad
And the colours here will fade
Would you help me see,
Real shades of grey
Love only matters,when it comes to the end
Love only matters makes you rise again
I′m just an ornament,an ornament in your garden
Not enough,but it feels right,
You keep me alive when you bring the rain… rain… rain
Read between the lines
This is fragile only for you and I
All I wanted is that you love me… as I am
Don′t say “I′m sorry” again
Does it give you the right
To be someone else… someone else… someone else
-----------------------------------------
Dead as we
I was holding her forever
Through the tears we smiled together
And commitment cost me more than I could pay
This blaze of despair is all that I can feel
When love that was meant for us will be as dead as we
No need to approve,don′t put the blame on me
When all that was meant for us,will be as dead as we
She was offering for adventure
Rusty diamonds of secret treasure
She took me deeper into the dark than I could go
This blaze of despair is all that I can feel
When love that was meant for us will be as dead as we
No need to approve,don′t put the blame on me
When all that was meant for us,will be as dead as we
Every shadow on her way,will remind of better days
This blaze of despair is all that I can feel
When love that was meant for us will be as dead as we
No need to approve,don′t put the blame on me
When all that was meant for us,will be as dead as we
No need to approve,don′t put the blame on me
When all that was meant for us,will be as dead as we
---------------------------------------
Anna Simona
I doubt myself today 4am the world is sleeping
Wonder why no one's here just me and this needless weeping
Running away from you,was the first mistake from my side
Running away from you,was the worst mistake of my life
If I could turn back time...But then no one can...
So many things left unsaid,so many things I couldn't write down
When my weakness made me scared
Your presence built me stronger and all that disapprovement
Of hope is flying over,like dust in wind
If I could turn back time get right back,where we start from...But I can't
Your presence built me stronger and all that disapprovement
Of hope is flying over,like dust in wind
If I could turn back time get right back,where we start from...But I can't
No I can't...But I can't...
---------------------------------
Lust N′ Needs
Come,come and taste the blade cold and steel
With that grin upon your face bring it all down here
All down here,let′s make it real
Love on the streets,emotions for sale
Just take whatever comes on your way
I swear you won′t regret
Get in,release your lust and needs
Just for one night down on your knees
Play dead enjoy and forget
Girl forget the world outside that is made of rules
Be my queen of desire,live for your sin
Let me be your sin take me under your skin
Love on the streets,emotions for sale
Just take whatever comes on your way
I swear you won′t regret
Get in,release your lust and needs
Just for one night down on your knees
Play dead enjoy and forget
Love on the streets,emotions for sale
Just take whatever comes on your way
I swear you won′t regret
Get in,release your lust and needs
Just for one night down on your knees
Play dead enjoy and forget
My queen of desire come light my fire and scream!
---------------------------------
Gravity Of Love
There′s a power we can′t see
Tried to put it in words,guess it wasn′t meant to be
Still do my best to understand,what′s behind that′s haunting me
The place will return like the sun of my childhood
There′s no one on earth that could ruin this solid mood
Warm touch of a winged messenger of danger
Still hear the call,but I won′t go
Another day behind and I survived
Who held me through this? I′m glad that I′m still alive
Dark force keeps knockin′ on my door
But I won′t open ′til it′s gone
The place will return like the sun of my childhood
There′s no one on earth that could ruin this solid mood
Warm touch of a winged messenger of danger
Still hear the call,but I won′t go
The place will return like the sun of my childhood
There′s no one on earth that could ruin this solid mood
Warm touch of a winged messenger of danger
Still hear the call,but I won′t go... gravity of love
I must be dreaming,I must be dreaming,I must be dreaming
I must be dreaming,I must be dreaming,I must be dreaming
Anorectic 全部歌词
1． Arrival
(Music: Negative)
2． Glory Of The Shame
(Music: Jonne Aaron & Larry / Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
This revolution in my mind
this generation will be mine!
with the satisfaction
only strongest will survive.
Close enough to pain
pleasure screams your name
I've seen this one before...
Glory of the shame!
You're the shelter I'm the storm
that will never be calm...
Glory of the shame!
It goes by the name...
Beware I'm here to take control
only I can save your rotten soul
For the devastation that drove you out of your mind...
3． Reflections
(Music: Jonne Aaron & Larry / Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
I wasn't solid enough to be
Things you rather wanted to see in me
Should I forget myself to get over you
all I can do is pretend and lie to myself
over and over again...
Ghost of you,still breathing
It won't leave me alone
it keeps on teasing
Reflections of eternity are dark as hell
now I can see
of that I'm glad my heart and soul are still mine...
I couldn't stop believing in fantasies
you destroyed then forgot now I rebuilt
This promise land made by sand
of an hour glass we misplaced
It's broken it has disappeared and so have you...
4． One Last Shot
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
We used to be so perfect
we came together fine
It seemed like a crime
This world so blind we once created
more than a fairy tale
Oh now we shined
Not any more! x4
I sing for justice here we stand in time
waiting for our one last shot...
shot to come in
This world so blind we once created
where faked,painted smiles felt so naked
I was blind without a stick
taste of morephine on your lips made me sick
Never learned to love surprises
respecting how we swore...
eye for an eye...smile for a smile...
when your wings are torn
the distance between right and wrong is too short
And it feels you got nothing left to lose
sky above falling down
you feel abused...
And I don't want it
No,I don't want it
this endless mile that we are walking
waiting for one last shot to come in
But we need it
somehow we need it
this unknown that we're suffering for
losing hold of what we were before
where's the mercy? when we need it the most
when we can't hold on...
I'll be ok
I'll be all right
nothing can break me down
no one can hurt me
as long as you say
that you'll stay another day
5． Fading Yourself
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Fade all the demons in your head
it's getting harder to understand
Delusion all that makes no sense...
It's all in our minds
it's all in our eyes
they see what they want to see
the whole truth beyond these endless lies...
every face that you make
they've become so lame...
You're losing your faith
can't you see that there must be something
something you know and more to believe in...
you're fading yourself...
Take some wasted years you thought you knew
and you'll see that you were wrong
what it takes? what's the price of being in bloom
You become so numb
all that mattered is gone...
If you keep looking back and feel sorry for yesterdays
you'll be one of the strangers
you can't recognize yourself
the passion you felt it was so strong
now it's gone
6． Planet Of The Sun
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
On and on I was looking for freedom
less and more I found it by you
This darkened sky of our heavenly kingdom
the thing in common is there's not so much left to say...
Are you ready or not
ready for the truth
sick and tired of this nonsense
I'm frustrated by you...
The signs of silence are getting louder
breaking the bond we protected so long
I don't see a reason to ponder with this any longer
there's no turning back
just one way to fall...fall apart...
On and on I was looking for freedom
less and more I found it by you
In a life that we live in
for love we believed in
this might be the day we die
so we can be born again...
And life should be easy
when there's someone to hold on
that's what they told me
that's what I thought
Planet of the sun
7． A Song For The Broken Hearted
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Never needed anybody
helpless,restless little soul
always fighting against somebody
living in denial all alone...
but I know...
No one can live broken hearted
not that I know of anyway
if only you could break this shell around me
till that I'm standing on my own living in denial all alone...
No one of us can live forever
this life's like a suicide with no gun
heart full of love but soul is crying
knowing this is what you've been hiding from...
soon you will know...
The greatest thing you ever felt
was when an enemy turned into a friend you could not trust
new sunrise in a lonely heart
sunrise always follows the dark
now you know...I know you know...
8． Sinner Night / Misty Morning
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
It's a misty morning
but I fell like I can fly
every step that I take is heavier than a thousand miles
concrete jungle's calling and I'm sure I don't want to resist
It's a one way high
turn me on with the devils kiss
Who would want to spend a life time with bad selfesteem
Don't you never ever think about it
you will see that there's no doubt about it
The pleasure we never had is in our hands
this night is like a rollercoaster ride babe
just shut your mouth and you will get your race
this spell is all around
this is our chance
just take my hand
don't ask me why
cos I don't know
show me the smile that kills and make me beg some more...
Soon the night is over
you're underdoped just take your time
here is one for you before you know it blows your mind
here the hell freezes over and seven days have gone so fast
and cash that I got is from the chaos that I planned
who would want to spend a life time with bad atmosphere
me neither
if you know what I'm saying
forget the bullshit what they say keep on tening
(Music: Larry & Sir Christus & Jonne Aaron / Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Thrill of fear flash of cruelty
was what I sensed of the signs you were sending
Lives as one but separated
Who'll draw the lines
who tells when it's too late?...
And as the swans prepare for their leaving
Can't change what done
it's unforgiven
bitter is the taste of your way
cannot rewind
can't take it back...
The picture is clear and so brave
but you wanted to have it your own way
sometimes things are as they seem...
and as the swans prepare for their leaving
can't change what's done
it's unforgiven
bitter is the taste of your way
cannot rewind
can't take it back...
How long do we have
10． Stop F*ckin' Around
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Remains of sympathy
that's kind of what you left me with
our divided destinies nailed to be lost
Beauty marks of history easily will repeat itself
I have nothing to prove to you
this time I'll take and make my move...
There's no &you're the one&
only hollow heart of mine
sealed with damage done
choice was yours so don't be a child...
Lies accusations
I won't crawl I'll take your pride
otherwise you will proudly stay above everything
In case love is dead
can't let myself go to waste
you wanna taste my revenge
this time I'll turn my back on you...
look what you have done to me
all my feelings turn to hate
All your sickness insanity makes me a mess
so I won't wait...
Stop mesin' around...Stop fuckin' around...
11． Embracing Past
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Autumn rain in december
darkness offers company
some part of me doesn't want to remember...
how could I forget
I don't wanna talk about
of worse,or of some better
why can't we stay like this forever...
While the rain has become so much colder
embracing past
it's not gonna last any longer!
I keep on thinking
thinking it's so releaving
to hear how you feel
to know that you're not rejecting me yet...
would you ever think of me
you know I can't stand when you say so
oh how much I hate...
12． We Can't Go On
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Remember the time you used to say
we've come to the end of our own way
Or this journey has just begun
you're the lesson cursed I never learned
you're the flames in the fire when we burn
I ain't got time for you and I
someday when I become old and wise
i'm able to explain to you
why love is kind to be cruel...
Forget the grief to celebrate
come enjoy this dance on the edge
together it's softer to fall
You know I'm afraid to say it loud
You know I'm too scared to spit it out
i have to scream and shout
We can't go on,we can't go on,we can't go on
We can't go on,we can't go on,we can't go on
No more excuse for me to go
no excuses that I know
Oh my darling we're doomed to fail
Just can't get the words out of my head
no reason to wait for better days...
Life's a bitch and then we die...
All this time I trusted you and fooled myself I was dumb
Love is just for the fools and I've heard it should be fun
it might be fun,it can't be fun...
13． in Memoriam (Immortal Peace)
(Music & Lyrics: Jonne Aaron)
Like seasons change their face
rain like the tears
winds got your voice whispering my name
Landing shadows come around
telling me the same old story with certain sound
I'm stuck in a place
prisoner of this room
painful memories of me and you
I take colors of longing and paint you on my wall
Is it too much to ask for some golden peace
that's what I expect from you at least
it's simple and understood there's no way out...
I wish that I would be dead
dead like you and I falling like a butterfly
after one lived day
hope you will find your peace immortal eternal and real
I know I cannot be dead yet
just can't live it again...
Too much never enough
we're stuck in time till death leads us away
In a moment that I'm scared the most
you're sleeping aways soon you'll be lost
every breath that you take you'll be closer to where you belong
I never thought this could be so hard and rough
after all we've been trough can't get enough
of this sweetest trip you once gave me as a gift...
I hope you're waiting for me somewhere out there
in a place where we can hold each other again
you went first I'll come right after you
I'm depressed I don't care...
I miss you,
I hope you hear me...
Frozen to lose it all 《冻结自己，放逐一切》
alone in sadness 徘徊于悲伤中你是那么孤独
you are pure and innocent 那么的纯洁无辜
all suffering in your eyes 你眼中的痛苦
so love decides its time to lose it all 让爱决定把自己放逐
in your paradise you stayed 停留在一个人的天堂里
lost and lonely you are 你迷失了你自己
chorus: [副歌]
in memories we're all we used to be 回忆里，我们仍是曾经的青涩样子
our frozen broken hearts,我们僵硬
ready to lose it all 已准备好失去一切
lifes running out,too fast 生命消逝的太快
it's all we have 我们拥有的一切
this all remainds of how in love and lost we are 提醒我们曾经是怎样爱过又是怎样相互毁灭过
you stayed alone in sorrow 你独自停滞于忧伤中
so far away 那么遥远
where the sunbeams never reach 在那阳光永远无法到达的角落
all alone and lost we are 我们是多么孤单和迷失
your lonelyness,你的寂寞
it could be here to stay 它可以在此处停留
in your paradise you stayed 停留在一个人的天堂里
so lost and lonely you are 你迷失了你自己
I am frozen to lose it all 我冻结了自己我放逐了一切
消极乐队------此刻 （The Moment Of Our Love)
江城之殇 翻译
I've tried to kill the pain我已经尝试过解除这痛苦
but it keeps me in this circle但它将我困在这圈中摆布
It's hard to get away这一切很难逃离
And I feel you again我再次感觉到你
You're with me你与我一起
Love is a word you gave it a name爱是你赋予名字的一个词语
Love is right now爱正在此刻
So don't close your heart因此不要关闭心灵
I've been waiting all my life我此生一直在等待
For this moment of our Love为了此刻我们的的爱
with you与你同在
I've tried to feel the pain我已经尝试过感觉这痛苦
But it keeps me in this Circle但它让我原地踏步
I don't wanna get away我不想逃避
'cos you're here with me因为此刻你与我一起
I feel you我感觉到了你
Love is the word you gave it a name爱是你赋予名字的一个词语
Love is right now爱正在此刻
So don't close you heart因此不要关闭心灵
I've been waiting all my life我此生一直在等待
For this Moment of our Love为了此刻我们的的爱
with you与你同在
with you与你同在
Just let me Love you就让我爱你吧
and I learn to Love you right让我学会正确的爱你
- I lived Only for this Moment我仅为此刻
- For this moment of our Love为了此刻
with you与你同在
with you与你同在
第59期的《我爱摇滚乐》关于Negative的“所谓诗歌”专题：
《冰封于坦佩雷的爱情》作者：江城之殇
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