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& 英语辅导：初二册第18-20单元目标验收练习
英语辅导：初二册第18-20单元目标验收练习
14:16& 英语辅导报
　　听力部分
　　(共四大题，计20分，本部分配有磁带)
　　I. 听录音，根据你所听到的英文释义，写出相应的英语单词。(5分)
　　1. _________
2. _________
3. _________
　　4. _________
5. _________
　　II. 听对话，选出能够回答所听问题的图片。(5分)
　　III. 听录音，根据对话内容填写下面表格。(5分)
　　What are they doing now ?
　　IV. 听短文，选出能回答所听问题的正确答案。(5分)
　　1. a. Mother. b. Father and Mother. c. I. d. Father.
　　2. a. Every morning. b. In the afternon. c. At night. d. At noon.
　　3. a. Father. b. Mother. c. We boys. d. All of us.
　　4. a. 10:00. b. 9:00. c. 10:05. d. 11:00.
　　5. a. Three. b. Five. c. Four. d. Six.
　　笔试部分(共十二大题，计100分)
　　I. 语音。(5分)
　　找出每组单词中划线部分的读音与众不同的选项。
　　1. a. trouble b. trousers c. blouse d. round
　　2. a. instead b. breakfast c. dream d. headache
　　3. a. laugh b. light c. enough d. cough
　　4. a. land b. change c. thin d. bank
　　5. a. once b. cross c. drop d. solve
　　II. 词汇。(20 分)
　　A. 根据句意及首字母或汉语提示写出正确单词。(10分)
　　1. Do you have e_________ money to buy that computer?
　　2. Her brother n_________ gets to school late. He always gets up early in the morning.
　　3. If you want to be thinner and h_________ , you should eat some fruit and vegetables.
　　4. The boy was late again. His teacher, Mr Chen, was a_________ with him.
　　5. We like g_________ lessons, because we can learn something about different countries and different people.
　　6. The tiger's_________ (牙) are bigger than the monkey's, aren't they?
　　7. This cake is much_________ (甜) than that one.
　　8. His father is very_________ (有钱的), but his uncle is poor.
　　9. You have to stop_________ (吃) too much chocolate.
　　10. Don't worry. I can take care of _________ (我自己).
　　B. 英汉词组互译。(5分)
　　1. instead of _________
　　2. the Summer Palace _________
　　3. be afraid of _________
　　4. no longer _________
　　5. fall asleep _________
　　6. 照料 _________
　　7. 咳嗽 _________
　　8. 逃跑 _________
　　9. 在去商店的路上 _________
　　10. 打开收音机 _________
　　C. 按要求写出下列单词的相应形式。(5分)
　　1. wind _________
　　2. write _________
　　3. bright _________
　　4. bad _________
　　5. knife _________
(复数形式)
　　6. catch _________
　　7. sun _________
　　8. delicious _________
　　9. she _________
(反身代词)
　　10. twenty-three _________
　　III. 单项选择。(10 分)
　　1. We must keep the classroom_________ .
　　a. clean b. to clean c. cleaning d. cleaned
　　2. Can't you see that lake? There's _________ island in _________ lake.
　　a. an, a b. an, the c. a, the d. the, the
　　3. The teacher told me _________ late again.
　　a. am b. not be c. be d. not to be
　　4. The city cleaners _________ do their work many times a day during the dust storm season.
　　a. may b. can c. might d. have to
　　5. I will let you know about it as soon as I _________ the news.
　　a. will get b. gets c. got d. get
　　6. -How did you learn skating when you were young?
　　-_________ . It was not very hard.
　　a. By river b. By sea c. By myself d. By the way
　　7. We're all very tired. Shall we stop _________ a rest?
　　a. to have b. having c. have d. has
　　8. Li Hong _________ her pencil-box at home yesterday.
　　a. forgets b. leaves c. forgot d. left
　　9. If you want to be healthier, you'd better take _________ exercise and eat _________ food.
　　a. more, less b. less, more c. more, fewer d. more, more
　　10. This kind of food smells _________ , and tastes _________ , too.
　　a. good, well b. well, good c. good, good d. well, well
　　IV. 句型转换。(10 分)
　　A. 按要求改写下列句子。(5分)
　　1. There's nothing wrong with the old machine. (改为反意疑问句)
　　There's nothing wrong with the old machine, _________ _________?
　　2. My brother has to drive his car home. (改为一般疑问句)
　　_________ your brother _________ to drive his car home?
　　3. Mr Liu had a rest after he finished the work last night. (用not... until改写)
　　Mr Liu _________ have a rest _________ he finished the work last night.
　　4. We write to each other twice a week. (对划线部分提问)
　　_________ _________ do you write to each other ?
　　5. David went to the zoo on foot last Sunday. (对划线部分提问)
　　_________ _________ David go to the zoo last Sunday?
　　B. 同义句改写。(5分)
　　1. I'm very tired. I can't walk on.
　　I'm _________ tired _________ walk on.
　　2. We can't leave things here and there in the park.
　　We can't _________ things _________ in the park.
　　3. The boy seemed to be late for school yesterday morning.
　　_________ _________ that the boy was late for school yesterday morning.
　　4. They didn't go there by bike. They went there by bus.
　　They went there by bus _________ _________ by bike.
　　5. Her father learned English by himself.
　　Her father _________ _________ English.
　　V. 用适当的不定代词或相关副词填空。(5分)
　　1. I hope _________ goes well.
　　2. There is _________ wrong with the computer. It's OK.
　　3. Is there _________ important in today's newspaper?
　　4. I met the young man _________ . But I can't remember his name now.
　　5. -Is _________ here today?
　　-No, Li Min isn't.
　　6. -Listen!_________ is following us.
　　-You're right. It must be Jim.
　　7. Did _________ go home with you yesterday evening?
　　8. The girl looked for her eraser _________ , but she didn't find it.
　　9. I listened carefully, but I couldn't hear _________ .
　　10. I'm sorry, I can do _________ to help you.
　　VI. 单句改错。(5分)
　　1. His father finished reading whole the story yesterday, didn't he?( )
　　2. The ice is too thin for them to skate.( )
　　3. Lucky, that man is our English teacher.( )
　　4. Emma didn't know how work out the problem in class.( )
　　5. -Did you have headache last night?
　　-No, I didn't.( )
　　6. I feel even tired after hard work than before. ( )
　　7. He needs eat more food and to have three meals a day.( )
　　8. Do some exercises every day.Then you'll get better soon.( )
　　9. If it will rain tomorrow, I won't go there with you.( )
　　10. Everything begin to grow in spring.( )
　　VII. 动词填空。(10分)
　　1. What about the _________ (sleep) pills I gave you?
　　2. I won't feel like _________ (talk) with his parents.
　　3. Last night I _________ (dream) that I went to the park.
　　4. The doctor told the boy _________ (try) to relax.
　　5. Mr Green _________ (come) here from the USA three months ago.
　　6. You may go home if he_________ (not telephone) you.
　　7. Some _________ (visit) came to the island last week.
　　8. It makes Tom very sad when he thinks of his uncle's _________ (die).
　　9. The summer holidays _________ (begin) next week.
　　10. The old man enjoyed _________ (listen) to the music very much.
　　VIII. 根据汉语完成下列句子。(10 分)
　　1. 我必须每五分钟就坐下来休息一会儿。
　　I had to sit down and have a little rest
　　_________ _________ _________ .
　　2. 医生很仔细地给他做了检查。
　　The doctor _________ him _________ very carefully.
　　3. 老师一再让我们多锻炼。
　　The teacher asked us to take exercise _________ _________ _________ .
　　4. 他们见到了李明才回家。
　　They _________ go home _________ they met Li Ming.
　　5. 我们今天最好不到那里去。
　　_________ _________ _________ _________ there today.
　　6. 他迟早会把这件事告诉你。
　　_________ _________ _________ , he'll tell you about it.
　　7. 这条裤子太短，我不能穿。
　　The pair of trousers are _________ _________ for me _________ _________ .
　　8. 她病了，我替她完成了这项工作。
　　She was ill. I finished the work _________ _________ her.
　　9. 他太小，不能把他单独留在家里。
　　He is too young. Don't _________ _________ at home _________ _________ .
　　10. 上海变得越来越美丽了。
　　Shanghai is getting _________ _________ _________ _________ .
　　IX. 补全对话。(5分)
　　从a-g七个选项中选出五个，完成下面的对话。
　　A: Tom, what's the matter with you?
　　B: My best friend, John is ill in hospital.
　　A: (1) _________ What's wrong?
　　B: His head hurts.
　　A: But he looks very healthy, I think.
　　B: (2)_________ He was strong when he was young. He liked sports and often took exercise, but five years ago he became rich and ate a lot of meat, so he got fatter and fatter.
　　A: (3) ______
　　B: You're right. The doctors told him to do more exercise and eat less meat, but he didn't listen to them.
　　A: (4) ______
　　B: Yes. Now he thinks the doctors are right and begins to do what they say.
　　A: (5) ______
　　B: I hope so.
　　a. I hope he'll be OK soon.
　　b. I'm sorry to hear that.
　　c. It's bad for his health.
　　d. I don't think so.
　　e. I should say "Thank you".
　　f. I'm sure he must feel sorry for it.
　　g. He had to listen to his wife.
　　X. 完形填空。(10 分)
　　One night, a thief(贼) broke into an old man's house. He
a noise and woke up the old man and his wife. The husband told his
to be silent(安静), while he said loudly, "My dear, these days thieves are
. If they take
their clothes and put them on the table, people in the room will fall asleep and
wake up." When the thief
this, he took off his clothes
and was ready to work. At this
, the husband suddenly shouted in a loud voice. "Stop thief! Stop thief!" The thief was very frightened(恐惧). He ran away as
as he could and
his clothes on the table.
　　1. a. make b. made c. makes d. making
　　2. a. son b. friend c. wife d. daughter
　　3. a. cleverer b. more c. faster d. stronger
　　4. a. on b. in c. off d. from
　　5. a. couldn't b. can't c. may not d. mustn't
　　6. a. listened b. heard c. hear d. listen to
　　7. a. once b. then c. at once(立刻) d. now
　　8. a. moment b. hour c. minute d. quarter
　　9. a. most quickly b. fast c. faster d. more quickly
　　10. a. forgot b. got c. brought d. left
　　XI. 阅读理解。(5 分)
　　In the mid 1990's, people started doing business on the Internet. At that time, there were two kinds of companies. First, there were traditional(传统的)companies. They sold things in stores. Then, there were Internet companies. They didn't have a store, and they only sold things on the Net.
　　Traditional companies didn't want to lose any business. Quickly, they made their own websites(环球网的站点) and began selling things on the Net. These are the so-called "brick and click" companies. Many stores are made of brick, and you click on your mouse to buy things with your computer. That's where the name "brick and click" comes from.
　　By the late 1990's, e-businesses , ,
were in trouble. Their profits (利润) were not very high. Competition (竞争) was great. Many of these businesses were losing lots of money. In 2000, many e-businesses went out of business.
　　Why are brick and click companies, like Barnes and Noble, Toys R Us, and Walmark so successful? First, many customers(消费者) know and trust their names. Their websites, , are easy to remember. These companies also have lots of experience. They know how to run a successful business.
　　In the world of e-commerce(电子商务), companies are fighting for every dollar and every customer. Will brick and click companies win the war? Only time will tell.
　　根据短文内容选择最佳答案。
　　1. Which of these would be a brick and click company?
　　a. A restaurant.
　　b. A clothing company with no website.
　　c. A bookseller with five stores and an website.
　　d. A video seller with a big website but no stores.
　　2. What did many traditional companies do in the mid 1990's?
　　a. They went out of business.
　　b. They made their own websites.
　　c. They bought Internet companies.
　　d. They sold their companies.
　　3. What gave Internet companies lots of trouble in the late 1990's?
　　a. Low profits and great competition.
　　b. Their websites were bad.
　　c. They didn't know what to do.
　　d. Their profits were high.
　　4. People like buying from brick and click companies because ______.
　　a. they have nice websites
　　b. their names are hard to remember
　　c. they are cheap
　　d. people trust them
　　5. What does "win the war" mean?
　　a. Win a game
　　b. Lose the most customers
　　c. Make the most money
　　d. Stop doing business and become a soldier
　　XII. 书面表达。(5 分)
　　根据所给的提示词语，写一篇60-70个单词的日记(正文开头部分已给出)。要求：格式正确，必须包含以下单词和短语，可适当添加内容。
　　a quick breakfast, climb the mountain, picnic, enjoy oneself, Saturday, May 18th, 2002, Sunny
　　____________________________________________
　　I got up early this morning._________
　　____________________________________________
　　____________________________________________
　　____________________________________________
　　初二册第18-20单元目标验收练习参考答案及要点详解
　　听力部分
　　I. 听录音，根据你所听到的英文释义，写出相应的英语单词。
　　1.not easy 2.all by oneself 3.not dangerous 4.father and mother 5.clean something with water
　　II. 听对话，选出能够回答所听问题的图片。
　　1. M: Who's that woman in the car?
　　W: She is my aunt.
　　M: What does she do?
　　W: She's a doctor.
　　Q: What does the girl's aunt do?
　　2. M: What did your parents buy you for your birthday?
　　W: Guess!
　　M: A watch or a bike?
　　W: Neither. They bought me a computer.
　　Q: What did the girl's parents buy for her?
　　3. W: What do I have to do if I want to be thinner?
　　M: You have to eat less food and take more exercise.
　　W: What should I have?
　　M: Well, every day you should only have some fruit, some bread and some water.
　　Q: What should the woman only have every day?
　　4. M: Why didn't you go to Monkey Island with them?
　　W: Because I was late.
　　M: When did they start?
　　W: When I got to the school gate, it was 7:00. So they started before 7:00.
　　Q: When did they start?
　　5. M: Why do you come to school by bus today?
　　W: Because my bike is broken.
　　M: How do you usually come to school?
　　W: I often ride my bike.
　　Q: How does the girl usually come to school?
　　III. 听录音，根据对话内容填写下面表格。
　　M: Hello, Mrs. Smith. Can you help me? I'm doing my homework.I don't know what this sentence means.
　　W: Which one? Oh... that's not easy. I can't help you now... I'm watching TV.
　　M: Can Mr. Smith help me?
　　W: No, he can't now, Tom. He's reading a book.
　　M: What about Kate?
　　W: Oh,she can't help you now. She's phoning her friend.
　　M: How about Jane?
　　W: Oh, she can't help you, either. She's doing some cooking now.You're asking a lot of questions, Tom!
　　M: Am I?
　　IV. 听短文，选出能回答所听问题的正确答案。
　　My family live in Beijing. We are all busy every day. Every morning, father goes to work and we boys go to school. Mother stays at home every day. She does housework. She always has lunch at home, and goes to see her friends in the afternoon. In the evening, we boys come back home from school. We always get home early. Father comes home from work late. At night my two brothers and I do our homework. Father and mother usually read newspapers or watch TV. We all go to bed at ten. At weekends, we are all free.
　　1.Who goes to work in the morning?
　　2.When does mother go to see her friends?
　　3.Who gets home early in the evening?
　　4.When do the family go to bed?
　　5.How many people are there in the family?
　　参考答案:
　　I.1.difficult/hard 2.alone 3.safe 4.parents 5.wash
　　II.1-5 baaca
　　IV. dbcab
　　笔试部分
　　I. 1-5 acbda
　　II. A. 1. enough 2. never 3. healthier 4. angry 5. geography 6. teeth 7. sweeter 8. rich 9. eating 10. myself
　　B. 1. 代替 2. 颐和园 3. 害怕 4. 不再 5. 入睡 6. take care of/ look after 7. have a cough/cough 8. run away 9. on the way to the shop 10. turn on the radio
　　C. 1.windy 2.right 3.brightly 4.worse 5.knives 6.caught 7.sunny 8.more delicious 9.herself 10.twenty-third
　　III. 1. a。句中的keep意为"使……处于某种状态"，其后通常接形容词、副词、现在分词等作宾语补足语。
　　2. b。前一空表示数量，又因名词是以元音音素开头的，故用an；后一空表特指，故用the。
　　3. d。"告诉某人做某事"要说成tell sb. to do sth.；"告诉某人不要做某事"要说成tell sb. not to do sth.。
　　4. d。本题的意思是：在沙尘暴期间，清洁工不得不一天好几次地重复他们的工作。表示的是一种客观要求，故用have to。
　　5. d。本题考查的是含时间状语从句的主从句时态知识。当主句是一般将来时时，以as soon as引导的时间状语从句要用一般现在时。
　　6. c。(all) by oneself 结构常作状语，意思是"全靠某人自己"。
　　7. a。stop doing sth. 意思是"停止做某事"；而stop to do sth. 意思是"停止正在做的某件事去做另外一件事"。本题属后者，故正确答案是选项a。
　　8. d。"leave sth. + 地点(多为介词短语)"意思是"把某物忘在某处"，时间状语是yesterday，句子要用一般过去时。
　　9. a。根据题意，应为"多做练习，少吃东西"，并且food作"食物"讲时，为不可数名词，不能用fewer来修饰，所以应选a。
　　10. c。句中的smell和taste都是系动词，其后要接形容词(而不是副词)作表语，构成系表结构。
　　IV. A. 1. is there 2. Does, have 3. didn't, until 4. How often 5. How did
　　B. 1. too, to 2. throw, about 3. It seemed 4. instead of 5. taught himself
　　V. 1. everything 2. nothing 3. anything 4. somewhere 5. everyone/everybody 6. Someone/Somebody 7. anyone/anybody 8. everywhere 9. anything 10. nothing
　　VI. 1. c，改为the whole story。whole意思是"全部的"，通常位于定冠词、形容词性物主代词或名词所有格等限定词之后，单数名词之前，即"限定词 + whole + 单数名词"。
　　2. d，改为skate on。too...to... 意思是"太……而不能……"，当to后的动词是不及物动词时，要在其后加上适当的介词。
　　3. a，改为luckily。作状语，要用副词luckily。
　　4. b，改为how to work out。本题考查的是"疑问词 + 不定式"结构。how to do sth. 意为"如何做某事"，在句中作宾语。
　　5. b，改为have a headache。have a headache 意为"头痛"，是习惯用法，其中的不定冠词a不能省略。
　　6. b，改为more tired。形容词tired的比较级和最高级分别是加more, most构成的。
　　7. a，改为to eat。need作实义动词，后接动词时，动词前要用to。
　　8. b，改为exercise。exercise 与动词do或take搭配表示"进行锻炼"含义时，是不可数名词，没有复数形式。
　　9. a，改为rains。主句是一般将来时，以if引导的条件状语从句要用一般现在时。
　　10. b，改为begins。当复合不定代词作主语时，谓语动词要用单数形式。
　　VII. 1. sleeping 2. talking 3. dreamed/dreamt 4. to try 5. came 6. doesn't telephone 7. visitors 8. death 9. will begin 10. listening
　　VIII. 1.every five minutes 2. looked, over 3.again and again 4. didn't, until 5. We'd better not go 6. Sooner or later 7. too short, to wear 8. instead of 9. leave him, by himself 10. more and more beautiful
　　IX. 1-5 bdcfa
　　X. 1-5 bcacb 6-10 bcabd
　　XI. 1-5 cbadc
　　XII. One possible version
　　Saturday
May 18th, 2002
　　I got up early this morning. I had a quick breakfast and then ran to the bus stop. My friends and I got off by a village and then began to climb the mountain. An hour later we got to the top. We sang, picked flowers and our picnic began at twleve. We put all kinds of food, drinks and fruit on the newspaper. We enjoyed ourselves there.
　　(文/赫广春
沈华宏；英语通初二版2004年第3期；版权归英语辅导报社所有，独家网络合作伙伴新浪教育，未经许可，不得以任何形式进行转载。)
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有谁能帮我找出一个英语话剧，有关于校园生活幽默搞笑，而且励志的，最好有汉语翻译，
中间再差点英文歌曲，能唱的那种
荆轲刺秦王英语剧本旁白：It was war periods time, the war among different countries seemed endless. Every kings or ministers tried to find some supermen to work for them——to be the killing tools for their political purposes. As time goes by, it was becoming a fashion to feed some good men at home…… This is a crazy world. In the crazy world, there are the crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by the crazy way. 第一幕：Conspire(密谋) 太子丹（上，叹气）：Ying Zheng,that bad guy,treats me even worse than before.Resorts to lots of persons in his hand,he never cares about me ---the most sensible prince under the sun.Recently,he has got much more cities from my hands.How can I live if these things happen again(急)。 Hey!! I must think out a good idea. I must make him know who I am.(向幕里大叫)Where is my minister? (大臣阿三上)Indeed, tell me what shall we do now? 阿三：（毕恭毕敬）Just keep calm,please!Let me see!（盘坐在地。两手在头上画画如一休）（旁外音：当当当，砰！！）（阿三起）Ok,I get one,we can sent a hero to put Ying Zheng to~~~（作杀状）Then, all the beauties,jewelries and cities in Qing is ours~~~ （淫笑）太子与阿三作流口水状. 太子：Ha, ha~~~. Good idea,Good idea!But do you think who we can sent? 阿三：I have thought about it, we can send Xi Men Chui Xue .He is traveling in our country these days. I think we can’t lose the chance. We must employ him quickly. 太子：Well, deal with the things as soon as possible. 第二幕：tournament (比武) 西门吹雪（上台，摆出一幅酷式，手一张，一条纸带随风而下） 西 门 吹 雪 （Xi Men Chui Xue） 身高：190cm Height: 190cm
最爱干的事情：聊qq Favorite doing: chatting 战斗力：无限 War power: endless
最爱的颜色：黑色 Favorite color: black 武器：长剑 Weaponry: long sword
最爱喝的饮料：啤酒 Favorite drinks: beer 血型：O Type of blood: O
最崇拜的人：小燕子，****** Favorite idol: Xiao Yanzi Mao Zedong
Today I came here for the fighting, who is the unwanted-life guy. Stand out. 荆轲（抖嗦而上）站在一边，不敢出大气。 旁白：Competition begins. 荆轲（带剑冲向西门吹雪，半途停住）Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue? 西门吹雪：Just come on. 荆轲：（又冲，停在西门吹雪面前）Are you sure you are really the Xi Men Chui Xue in the story? 西门吹雪：（不耐烦）what a boring man! How dare you ask me such a stupid question? 荆轲（环视四周见无一人，便跪在西门吹雪面前，大哭）My hero, I admire you just like the yellow river, never endless. I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down. Please don’t kill me. Give me the life, please! 西门吹雪（大怒）I thought Jingke is a hero. But you beg for life. How can I forgive you? Give me your life. (举剑刺向荆轲，忽然，捂住自己的肚子，自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the toilet? 荆轲：T-o-i-l-e-t-? 西门吹雪：WC. 荆轲：W-C-? 西门吹雪：（急）茅厕！！Are you happy to hear such rude words? 荆轲：I know, I know. Turn left, left and left. 西门吹雪下。 太子丹与阿三上，看见荆轲，大吃一惊，太子丹给阿三一个眼色，阿三会意。走至荆轲前。 阿三:　What’s your name, please? Hero. 荆轲不屑一顾。 太子丹（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： 宁 在 花 下 死， 作 鬼 也 风 流。 Even dying under the flower, Also happy as a ghost. ——快活魔王荆轲是也 Happy prince of the gost 太子丹（抱拳）：How do you do 荆柯：How do you do. 荆柯突欲走，太子丹给阿三一个眼色。 阿三：Hero, wait for a moment. I have a problem which needs your help。 太子丹：You can gain a lot of things. 荆柯欲走又止。 太子丹(从衣兜里掏出一张卡片): Here is a card for traveling all over the world for free, please accept it please, hero. 荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走 太子丹（慌了）：I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen. This is Miss Huang! 旁白：“大世界”响起 有一妖艳女子走上（男扮女装），走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。荆柯两眼发直。 太子丹与阿三（击掌）Yeah! 荆柯（站直，厉声道）：Great man, both born and die for his motherland. I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just say it out. But this lady…… 太子丹：No problem. 第三幕：Say goodbye in Yishui River(易水别) 荆珂挽着那女子，太子丹在后，阿三一手拿着地图，一手拿着人头上。 阿三：We have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Please just stop here. Goodbye. 太子丹：Hero, Let me see you off a little further 荆珂：What a boring guy. If you walk a little further, then you will go to Qin instead of me 太子丹：Well. Goodbye. Hero. Here is the map and the head of Fan Yuqi, so as to get trust of the king 荆珂（接过头，扔在一边。太子丹，阿三下，荆珂猛抱住妻子）：How can I express my feeling now? I don’t want to leave because I love you. Once I think I will kill Yingzheng . I can’t help rushing into W.C. you known. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go. 妻子：Don’t worry. Do you still love me? 荆珂：Sure. I love you just like the mouse likes the rice. I love you more than my own life, more than my wife, more than the whole world. You are the one I first kissed, and I hope you will be the last one. 妻子：Well. If you are still loving me. You should not make me sad Stand up like a man. Don’t be fearful. I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂：You must wait for me. 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪， 旁白：”I will be right here waiting for you” 响起 荆珂上船，渐渐远去，（歌落） 妻子：Hey！ You want to come back, use your pig head, if you come back, the assurance that I bought about you will no use. Go to your doom. Never come back. (下) 第四幕：murdering (刺秦). 一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。 大臣甲（掏出手机一看）：Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus of this month has been lost. 大臣乙：I am tired. I had been chatting on QQ until 1 o’ clock last night. 大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲）：Good. Good. Your skin is fine. 大臣甲：I use “ Da Bao” everyday. 大臣乙：I have heart the emperor of Yan again give our king some good things. Be quick, to have a look. 大臣甲：Come on 秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。 卫兵丙：“Can we begin？” 秦王“begin” 卫兵丙：“Let the people of Yan， Jingke come in” 荆柯上。跪下，吓得直发抖。 秦王：“Jingke. What’s wrong with you？” 荆柯：“Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas on my body “. 秦王（不烦）：What’s the good things， quickly！” 荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦，（旁白：Go Go Go Only Only响起）秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。 两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿…… 大臣甲喊道：“Mr King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。 秦王:Super rubbish, how dare you kill me? 荆柯:I'm sorry I'm wrong But the prince of Yan told me to。 Please forgive me! 秦王：You will never live again. What would you like to say? 荆柯：My lovely lady， Once there was a truest love put before my eyes ,but I didn't cherish it. Only after losing it .I found myself regretting. No pains in the world comes near this, if God Could give me another chance, I would say to the girl “I love you! “If there had to be a limit of time before the end of love. I hope it would be ten thousand years. 秦王（吼道）：Soldiers carry out and put the pig head on the wall!!
第五幕：Escape（逃跑） 二个卫兵拖着荆柯上，（手脚以被绑）将荆柯扔到一边。二人气喘吁吁，甲搜身。 卫兵甲：Bad luck. He has no money. 卫兵乙：Money?? You are joking! I have searched all his body, just two socks. 卫兵甲:What?? Two socks? 卫兵乙:Nothing. Nothing. (回头)Too dangerous. 卫兵甲:Put the socks out. 卫兵乙L极不情愿，拿出了一双大小不一的袜子 卫兵甲看了看，比了比。将长的装进了自己兜里，短的扔给了卫兵乙。 卫兵乙：Too brazen. (两人互看)Oh,no.It’s fair. 荆柯（抬起头）：I will give you much more money if you set me free. 二卫兵：Really? Where is the money? 荆柯指了指脚上的绳子。二卫兵会意，解开了绳子。 荆柯（站起来）：My brothers, I have a good idea. If you do it,you will get lots of money. 二卫兵：Oh,please tell it to us! 荆柯:You can tie another person instead of me to put to death. Only the king recognizes me but he won’t watch my death. So no one will find out the secret. 二卫兵：Good idea!!(竖指) 荆柯去一边的树林里，拿出两袋钱，扔给二卫兵便大步而去。二卫兵正指着钱，忽卫兵丙推自行车上。 二卫兵（双目相视，大笑，同声）：Good!! 两人一把抓住骑车人，只往下拉，车子扔在地上。 卫兵丙：What have I done? I haven’t done anything wrong. Oh,no no!!! Have I crime? 二卫兵（异口同声）：Maybe.大笑.(Yesterday once more 起)
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&&提问者采纳&&20:13感恩相声（甲走上台，一片掌声……） 甲：大家好！（鞠躬）今天我为大家说件怪事…… （乙一脸怨气跑上台） 乙：气死我了！哼！ 甲：咋了？老弟？ 乙：我要离家出走。（说完便哭起来） 甲：不会吧？这么严重？乙：什么不会！我妈不给我买那台折腾4的电脑。 甲；那叫奔腾，你才折腾呢。 乙：管它呢，反正现在流行这玩意儿，我妈不给我买，我就跟她急。甲：（对观众说）哪有这样的人？乙：那天，我和妈妈到街上去，看见一家电脑店，便走了进去，立马被一台电脑吸引了，我叫妈妈买，她死活不肯买。 甲：多少钱？乙：不贵不贵，也就4个0吧。 甲：这还不贵？ 甲：你呀！母亲将你生下来多不容易，你咋这样呢？离家出走……亏你想得出来！ 乙：（语言慢了下来，带羞愧）那……你说怎么办呢？甲；回去给她道歉。 乙：好吧。（转身下）甲：（面向观众）大家瞧瞧，这样的人……（这时，乙又气呼呼地走来）乙：好你个……（做生气状），唉，算了，当我吃亏。甲：怎么了？怎么了？ 乙：你叫我去道歉，我去了，但结果呢…… 甲：结果怎么样？ 乙：结果我妈一点儿不生气。 甲：那不挺好吗？ 乙：什么挺好，她不给我买电脑还没有一点羞愧。你说可气不可气？ 甲：是你去道歉！还是指望她向你道歉？ 乙；都是你！叫我去道歉，现在不是亏大了吗。 甲：你做错了事就要认错，道歉应该的。 乙：什么应该的，本来想随随便便说声“对不起”，再听老妈一声诚恳的道歉就好了，现在……（生气，跺脚）都怨你！ 甲：什么人哪！（手指乙，面向观众） 甲：难道你没有一次帮过你妈？ 乙：什么意思？ 甲：就是帮她干点家务活。 乙：有！去年我妈让我去倒垃圾，看见两绿筒，一个口大，一个口小，我就抓阄决定倒哪个，最后决定了倒口小那个。甲：倒进去了？乙：倒是倒进去了，可出事了。 甲：怎么了？ 乙：我看见“垃圾筒”上有四个大字：“中国邮政”。 甲：啊！ 甲：就做了这一件？乙：哪能呢？不过以后不敢倒垃圾了。甲；那干什么呀？ 乙：拖地啊。 甲：那敢情好。 乙；我拼命拖，拖得地板都映出了人影。 甲：干得好！ 乙：我拖完后，我妈正欲夸奖，咚！摔了一跤，站起来，咚！又摔了一跤，站起来…… 甲：咚！又摔了一跤。 乙：这回没摔。甲：那还好。 乙：这回站起来后干脆直接躺下了。 甲：怎么会这样呢？乙：拖地时我在地上洒了一点油。甲；晕~`~ 这哪是帮着拖地啊？ 甲：不管怎么说，她是你母亲呀！你没听说过：世上只有妈妈好啊。乙：嗯，知道。甲：你要有一颗感恩的心。 乙：感恩的心？？ 甲：就是要报答父母的恩情，从点点滴滴关心他们。 乙 ：我懂了，我再也不会让母亲整天一手拿着扫把，一手提着吸尘器，脚夹两个烂笔头，头顶一个…… 甲：什么？ 乙：高压锅！ 甲：哎……. 乙：以后我会帮着妈妈扫地、拖地、倒垃圾…… 甲：嗯，这才像话嘛。乙：我还要好好学习。甲：做个好学生。乙：我再也不要那个折腾4了甲：做个好儿子乙：我要去向我妈道谦，我要向她说对不起。甲：那还不快去？乙：886（摇手下）甲：886（摇手下） 新生：“（从台边走出，像是在闲逛）我是##级新生，方年16，未婚。本人才高八斗，气宇轩昂，上知天文下知地理，是无所不知无所不晓无所不能！今天忽闻我学学生会要招收新生做干部，本来对做官是毫无兴趣，但听说做个学生会干部还挺威风的？就去看看吧！” （摇晃到学生会） 新生： “哗！ 一进门就是就是学习部，我们学校果然还是以学习为主啊！” 学干部：（新生刚一进门就碰到了学习部部长，只见她手捧诗集在那边充满感情的朗诵）“床前明月光，疑是地上霜。举头望明月，低头思故乡！”（汗！！！！！） 新生：（鼓掌走向他，当然是用拍马屁的语气说了）“想必这位一定就是学习部部长吧！小生拜见！！”（两手作揖） 学干部：“哦，没错，鄙人正是号称会聚全校最顶尖的学习骨干分子的学习部部长！（洋洋自得）不知这位兄台有何贵干？” 新生：“我是来学生会应聘做干部的，刚一进来就是你们学习部，而且被您的嗓音给吸引，所以就先来你们这个部门应聘吧！不知道做干部有什么条件吗？” 学干部：“讫敢讫敢！兄台果然好志向，要说条件吗谈不上，到是需要些基本的东西。”（申出手正反看了下） 新生：“什么东西？”（一脸好奇，看向她的手） 学干部：“（面对观众）比如呢，学习成绩要在全校排名前十，其实我是全年级第一，所以就对你们放宽要求了，这是最重要的；（吹了下手指甲）然后呢要会一样乐器，比如钢琴或笛子，我可是会三种乐器的哦！（转向新生，看着他还在，又转向观众）所以就对你们放宽要求了；当然还有像我一样的艺术欣赏能力，（新生一听这个马上呕吐状，跑下了台）没必要像我这么诗情画意，但要有和我一样的嗜好。最后就是……咦？人呢？” （没等他说完，新生竟然已经不知所踪了） 学干部：“怎么现在的同学都这么没耐心啊，算了，（朗诵的语气）就算部里就我一人，我也能撑起一片天空！我实在是太有诗意了！！！HOHOHO！床前明月光，疑是地上霜……”（朗读着走下舞台） 新生：“（跑上来面对观众）哇！没想到学习部居然有这么一个自恋狂啊，被选上的话不就惨了！去别的部吧。咦？学生会竟然有个女生部？不知道这个部跟MM关系密不密切？”（出现一种比较淫荡的表情） 女干部：（看到有人在门外，就走了出来询问）“这位同学有什么能帮你的吗？我是学生会女生部部长。” 新生：“（小声拖长音）哇！女生部果然暗藏美女。啊，大姐，我是来应聘学生会干部的。” 女干部：“哦，欢迎欢迎，请问你想应聘哪个部门的干部呢？” 新生：“这个吗...哎！就你们女生部吧！” 女干部：（面对观众）“啊？可是我们女生部从来就没有收过男干部呢？因为许多工作我们部都是以女同学为核心展开的，都是为了让女生有个更好的学习和生活环境，你一个男生......” 新生（抓狂，突然想开）：“大姐，此言差矣！古有商鞅变法，今有美国攻打伊拉克，凡事都有例外，凡事都求创新。我对女生总是怀着无微不至的关怀，女生的问题，就是我的问题，女生的心事（作妩媚状），就是我的心事，大姐！为了我校几百名女生的幸福，您，就让我加入女生部吧......”（单膝下跪，要果断） 女干部：“...好好好，I服了YOU，我们部就破例收下你这名男干部吧。那你现在就跟我去解决一个紧急的女生问题......” 新生：“哦？什么问题呢？” 女干部：“唉，我们女生虽然平时爱说爱笑，（台边出现两个女生说笑的画面）但有时也闹点小矛盾，这不，高二的两位女生就因为一点小事现在吵了起来......”（开始吵架，别发出声音，但要表现的激烈点，是突然发生的） 新生：“哎，不就是女孩子吵架嘛？我这就去摆平......”（刚想走，被拉了回来） 女干部：“等等....你有所不知，我们女生的问题说小能小，说大能大，如果你处理不好，她们可能会......" 新生（害怕状）：“会...会怎么样...”（一同看向台边的两位女生） 女干部：“抓你头发（新生配合作抱头状），勾你鼻孔（捂住鼻子），撕烂你衣服......”（这时台边的二人，女干部说什么她们就照着做什么，制造笑料） 新生：“（双手挡住胸部）哗！非礼！！” 女干部：“你怕了？？” 新生：“啊......不是不是...我这件衣服是美特斯邦威的，这个问题吗，不适合我这样一个男生，还是留给你们女生自己解决吧！我先走了......” 女干部：“喂！别走啊！我们女生需要你......”（追着新生下台，快要到台边时回来，对着观众说：“哎，还是我自己去解决女生问题吧！”说着就走了过去和那二个女生说了几句话后三人一同下台） 新生：（又一次跑上舞台）“这些女生真是麻烦！算了，再去其他部瞧瞧。” 劳干部：（从另一侧出现）“唉......” 新生：“咦？这位大哥为何哀声叹气？莫非也是为了女生问题？” 劳干部：“哦！不是不是，我是劳生部部长。（对向观众）使大家在一个优雅的校园中生活，在一个明亮干净的教室中学习，在一个整洁的宿舍中休息，这一直是我们劳生部义不容辞的责任。（半天没回过神，然后刷的一下冲着新生）请问你是...” 新生：“（往后退了一步）久...久仰劳生部大名，小弟今天就是冲着劳生部干部一职而来......” 劳干部：“好！你马上跟我走！”（拉起新生边走边说） 新生：“走？去哪？” 劳干部：“饭堂！” 新生：“（激动）饭堂！（往前走了一段对着观众小声说）喔，劳生部就是劳生部！凡事饭桌上谈！够气派！（停了下来握住劳干部的手）大哥！我跟定你了......不过？现在好象还没有到吃饭时间呢？迟点好吧？” 劳部长：“唉，哪里是去吃饭啊！我们这是去为同学们反映一下对饭堂的意见。” 新生：“什么意见啊？” 劳部长：“你是新生，你可能没有发觉。我问你，你去饭堂打饭的时候，有没有发现，服务员给你挠饭或菜的时候，手是不是老这样，抖抖...抖抖的...” 新生：“（冥思一会儿）恩...好象有这么回事。” 劳部长：“这就对了，她每那么抖一抖，就少了那么...一、两块肉了。”（数者掉下来的肉，很心疼的样子）（汗！！！！！！！） 新生：“（无所谓）啊？不就是一、两块肉而已吗？” 劳部长：“同学！（严肃）这你就不懂啦！我们每人都少那么一、两块肉，我们几千名学生加起来，那就是一头肥猪啦！”（做了一个抱猪的动作） 新生：“啊？？！！！对不起，讨价还价我不在行，你还是自己去吧...” 劳部长：“哎！你别走啊？同学......”（追着下台） 新生：“（汗！！！！！）（又一次上台对向观众）（这已经第几次了！！！）劳生部原来都是一群小气包！这个部不进也罢。咦？前面这两个男的气概不凡，想必有点来头！（跑上去挡在前面）这两位英雄，小生拜见。” 治部长：“噢，我是治保部部长，他是我的助理。看样子，你是新生吧？我们治保部是协作学院保卫部门搞好学校的治安保卫工作。你有什么需要帮忙的吗？” 新生：“不不，我，我是想来应聘治保部干部的...” （电话声突然响起，助理接起电话交给部长嘴里说“部长，您的电话！”） 治部长：“喔，你先等一下，我去接个电话。喂？对啊，这里是治保部，有什么情况吗？（新生好奇偷偷接近听内容）什么？有两个毒贩流串到了我们市？在途中已经造成九死一伤！（新生表情吃惊）什么？有可能躲到了我们学校！！（新生表情僵硬）好好，你们通知一下其他部门，我...哦，我这里刚招收了一个新干部，我马上就叫他去！（新生落慌而逃）你们等一会。咦？？人怎么不见了......” 新生：“（超级汗！！！！！！！又一次的跑了上来，要气嘘嘘）好险！好险！想不到加入治保部还会有生命危险...（看见一男生走进学生会）同学！同学！你是不是也跟我一样，想去应聘学生会干部？我劝你还是不要去啦！学生会里净是些怪人，不是三八，就是小气，外加一个自恋狂！对了，还有生命危险呢！！听我的，别去！别去！”（这时四个部长轮流上台走向主席打招呼，然后瞪新生一眼下台，躲在一旁偷听，新生没听到一次主席就往下面弯腰，直到一手撑地） 新生：“啊？？主...主席？？” 主席：（主席把他扶起）“恩，同学，你好，我忘了和你自我介绍了，我就是这界的学生会主席。你刚才说得一点都没有错，我们学生会干部做的的确就是一些苦差事，但只要是能为同学们服务的，能帮助同学们的，无论多苦、多累的事，我们都会去干！（躲在一旁的四个人跑出来鼓掌，随着主席一句“我还没说完呢”又跑了下去）你如果只是为了过把官瘾，又怕辛苦，我劝你还是别进学生会了吧。” 新生：“......主席，您说得很对，与刚才各个干部想比，（看了看台边）我才发现自己的自私和渺小。我回去后一定好好改正，向他们学习！（深情地）曾经有过N次机会让我加入学生会，我没有去珍惜，（突然一学生跑上来递给他一张餐巾纸，新生接过后拧了拧鼻涕说了句谢谢还给了学生，那位学生表情憎恶的看了新生）如果上天再给我一次机会的话，我一定会去应聘（停顿下）学生会主席部！！” 主席：“天哪！”（吓呆，四人一同上台扶助主席，全体定格） 考试疯云（校园小品） 人物：小艾，小伍，小玲，老师 场景：教室 内容： 小玲趴在桌上睡觉。 小艾丢了本书在旁边，出去。 小伍进来，坐在小艾的位置上。 小艾（进来）：唉，哥们儿，真是莫名其妙，是不是在搞笑，难道你没看到，这个座我已经占了！ 小伍：丁是丁，卯是卯，其实我占的比你早！ 小艾：我一大早就来了，咋没看见你呢？ 小伍：我昨天晚上占的。 小艾：最后一排是我的专利！为了它，我每天早早地起了床，抢破了头，血直流，这个位置不能丢！ 小伍：最后一排是我的骄傲，风水宝地这边独好。要想把我从这赶跑（小艾：——咋地？）劝你趁早拉倒！ 小玲醒来：吵什么吵什么吵？ 一大早就在这么神圣的教室里吵架，浪费大好青春！ 知道你们犯了什么错误吗？啊？ 小艾：知道。 小伍：我们不吵了。 小玲：你们最不可原谅的是——把我吵醒了！ 小艾坐在小玲前面。 小艾：最后一声得，还是发扬风格。哥们，考试照着我点！ 小伍：啊？今天考试啊？ 小玲：可不？我今天手都麻了！ 小艾：吓的噢？ 小伍：睡觉睡的吧？ 小玲：都不对！打小草累的！ 小艾：哎，想我昨晚点灯熬油地折腾了大半夜呀！ 小伍：哎呀，发奋学习了？ 小玲：你也打小草？ 小艾：哪呀，我在想考试的策略！ 小伍、小玲凑过去：想到什么? 小艾狂笑：告诉你们，这招绝了！ 小伍、小玲：快说啊！ 小艾：照书抄——（拿起书） 小玲：去死！ 小伍：是个好主意！我咋没想到呢？ 小玲：得了吧。你这也叫绝招？ 哎，为了缓解一下紧张的气氛，我给你们出道幽默智力题儿。 小艾、小伍不理她。 小玲：说，考试答卷分几步？ 小艾、小伍凑过去：几步？ 小玲：分三步！ 第一步：把名字写上。（两人点头） 第二步：把题目看一遍！（两人点头） 第三步：——把卷纸交上去！ 小艾：交白卷哦！ 小伍：什么破题啊？ 小玲：我再给你们出一道题儿；说，今天考试了，谁没来？ 小艾：今天考试谁能不来？小玲？ 小玲：我不在呢么！ 小艾：看看四周，小伍？ 小伍：在呢！ 小艾：啊！我知道了——小艾！ 小伍：你是白来了！来了跟没来还不一个结果！ 小玲：答，老师呗！还没来呢！ 老师走进来。 三人吓一跳：来啦？怎么说不来就来了呢？哎呀！（吵闹） 老师：叫什么？癞蛤蟆进来了哦？ 三人笑。 老师：严肃点！这考试呢！一点职业道德都没有！这年头最重要的是什么？——分数！分分分，你们的命根！（邪笑）考考考，俺们的法宝！ 小艾：抄抄抄，咱们的绝招！ 老师：快发卷纸！考试了也不早点来，这都几点了！考试都开始了半小时才来！干什么去了啊？ 发卷。 老师：考试时间共两小时！不超过一小时不许交卷！想答卷的同学请拿起笔，不想答卷的同学请原地休息。想上厕所的同学——请约束好自己！ 小艾：我把老师好有一比， 他是耗子找猫当三陪——要求无理！ 小玲：就是！难道他是传说中的说唱歌手，要不嘴里怎么就叨咕叨咕的没完？ 老师：肃静！你们要比树还静！知不知道你们犯了多么严重的错误？比盐海重！ 三人开抄。 老师：（指小艾）这位同学请不要抄了！ 小伍、小玲：我没抄啊！ 老师走到了小艾面前：同学，别抄了！ 小艾：你怎么知道？我放在桌子里抄的！ 老师：你桌子前面的板掉了，我都看见了！ 小艾：（看了看）哎呀！真倒霉！ 老师没收小艾的卷纸，小艾刚想站起来走。 老师：坐下！不到一小时不许出去！ 老师走到小伍旁边，小伍把卷纸拿到桌里去抄。 老师：行了行了，别装了！ 最看不起你们这些拿书作弊的，一点技术含量都没有。 你刚才怎么抄来的？这样？这样？ 小伍：再低点再低点！ 老师：（没收了小伍的卷纸）你也坐着反省一下，为什么拿书作弊？ 小伍：也不想拿书啊！谁让我没像她（小玲）一样打好小草的！ 小玲瞪大眼睛看着小伍。 老师：这就对了，下回记得打小草！我就喜欢这种用功的孩子。 老师：到点了！交卷。 收好卷纸。 老师：好。记得下午来考高数！（下） 小艾：啊！下午还考高数？ 小玲：啊！！下午考高数！（拿起小草）刚才考了什么？ 小伍：高……数？！那是什么树？ 三人：研究下怎么打小草吧！ 老师走进来（老师均由一人换装扮演即可）。 小艾：语文老师！ 老师：小艾，你怎么写作文的！（卷纸给小艾） 小艾：怎么了？ 老师：你读读。 小艾：《我的老师》，我的老师长了一张瓜子脸…… 老师：等下，（拿出一大牌子，上写爪）你这是瓜子脸的瓜吗？你写来的是我的老师长了一张爪子脸！ 小艾：老师，爪子脸也是脸，就不能凑合看吗？ 老师：你接着读。 小艾：我的老师长的真漂亮，真漂亮，真漂亮呀真漂亮，真漂亮呀真漂亮…… 老师：停！你写那么多真漂亮干吗？就这么一直写到了结尾！ 小艾：老师，作文不是要求不能少于500字吗？ 老师：那你就只写真漂亮？ 小艾：不是要求写出真情实感吗？这就是我的全部感情啊！ 老师：哼哼，告诉你，你才496字！ 小艾：哦！那再补一句：真漂亮啊！ 老师：你看看你的古文翻译，触槐而死你怎么译的？ 小艾：找棵老槐树上吊了！ 老师：为什么是老槐树？你看你解释词语，解释逝世，你竟然写去死！ 小艾：噢，我本想写死去的！ 老师：（一脸无奈）你，你又挂了！ 小艾：再给我一次机会吧！我都重修五次了！ 老师：好吧，我就给你个机会。听说过疱丁解牛，游刃有余吧？你用游刃有余造个句子，对了我就给你过！ 小艾：游——刃——有——鱼？！鱼……鱼，鱼在水里游，游刃有鱼…… 老师：（笑了）恭喜你，获得了—— 小艾：过了？ 老师：（冷漠）第六次重修的机会。（下） 小玲、小伍：算了，快来研究高数小草吧。 老师进来。 小伍：哲学老师！ 老师：小伍！ 小伍：有！ 老师：看看你的卷纸！ 我的问题是：这就是问题，请作答。 你怎么答的？ 小伍：这就是答案，请给分……不对吗？ 老师：你这叫问题吗？ 老师：你——好，下一道， 论述题：什么是勇气，你怎么没答？ 小伍：我答了啊！ 老师：就写了五个字！ 小伍：（读）这就是勇气！没错啊！然后我下面的题都没答就交卷了，我把勇气解释的多好呀！ 老师：你——你等着挂吧！ 小伍：老师！再给我次机会吧！我挂了十五次啦！ 老师：那我问你两个问题。就看你的造化了…… 小伍：两道——太多了！ 老师：好，第一题答对了！第二题你不答我也让你过，你有多少根头发？ 小伍：如果我是秃子就好了。 老师：答啊！ 小伍：根！ 老师：你怎么知道？ 小伍：老师，第二题我可以不答！ 老师：好！很好！非常好！拿着（递给一张纸） 小伍：这是—— 老师：重修单！（下） 小玲、小艾：快来研究高数—— 老师进来。 小玲：英语老师！（欲跑） 老师：小玲,跑什么呀？没吃早饭呀！ 小玲：没吃—— 老师：我看见你早上吃饭了呀！ 小玲：——明天的早饭！ 老师：小玲，看看卷纸，你这阅读理解没一个对的！你是不是根本没读就直接看题目选的？ 小玲：不是！ 老师：还敢狡辩！ 小玲：我连题目都没看，直接看答案选的！ 老师：还有你的作文！怎么看着眼熟？ 小玲：能不眼熟吗？阅读理解每段第一句话拼起来的…… 老师：小玲，你该觉悟了！你这次—— 小玲：啊！老师，我都挂五、十五，不，五十次了！不能再挂了啊！ 老师：不是我不给你过……这……比如，你能翻译出evening dress是什么意思吗？ （对观众）是晚礼服！ 小玲看着小艾、小伍。 小艾：evening是晚上吧，最适合大游戏！ 小伍：dress是衣服，MM总吵着买！ 小玲：哦！老师，我知道了！是夜行衣！ 老师摇摇头。（下） 小玲：不行，我得找老师去！你们俩慢慢研究吧！（下） 小艾：算了，小草打了 到里面点击相声这一类的 都是从网上精挑细选的 你好好看看吧 50个了快 祝你成功 呵呵
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