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出门在外也不愁International Talk Like A Pirate Day - FAQ
Frequently*
Asked Questions
Q. The big one: WHY?
A. Why not?
Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. It adds a zest,
a swagger, to your every day conversation. Do you need another reason?
Try it out. Let go, have a beer, burp in public. Say &Aarrr!!&
Feels good, doesn't it?
Q. When is Talk Like A Pirate Day ,
2008, etc.)?
A. International Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't one o' those governmentally
sanctioned holidays that shifts around to create a convenient three-day
weekend. No, the date is ALWAYS Sept. 19 (Cap'n Slappy's
ex-wife's birthday.) Now, occasionally Sept. 19 falls on a Sunday, and
we recognize that may not meet everyone's desire for an excuse to party.
While a lot of fun can be had celebrating TLAPD in a church setting (The
choir will now sing, &How Great Thou Aaarrrrt!&) we're
suggesting that those of a more secular bent consider celebrating Talk
Like A Pirate Weekend.
Q. What the heck is chum? And what's a chumbucket?
A. Chum is fish bait, usually blood, fish guts and skin chopped up and
poured on the water to draw bigger fish. In his book, “Shark Trouble,”
Peter Benchley refers to an old salt from Australia who used quartered
horse carcasses to attract Great Whites. A chumbucket is the bucket which
would hold the chum. No, people do not usually, willingly, knowingly consume
chum. Such references in his column are one of Cap’n Slappy’s
little jokes.
Why is Ol’ Chumbucket the nom de pirate of one of the Pirate Guys?
John, who gave himself the nickname, likes to imagine his pirate alter
ego as a failed ship’s cook who was given the sobriquet by a crew
unhappy with the choice of entre&s from the ship’s galley.
Sometimes John wishes he'd given himself a more fierce pirate name, but
most of the time he realizes this is about right.
Q. OK, settle this once and for all. Is it &Arrrrrrr,&
&Yarrrrr,& &Yarrrrgh& or what?
A. Ol' Chumbucket has always held that the preferred exclamation be &Arrr!&
and not, &Arrrgh!& because &Arrrgh!& is the sound
one makes when one
sits on a belayin' pin and no pirate would intentionally do that.
But the fact o' the matter is, thar be pirates what says, &Arrr!&
pirates what says, &Arrrgh!& and thems what say, &Yarrr!&
&Yarrrgh!& (Although &Yarrr!& tends to be a British
variant and &Yarrgh&
seems to be favored by the Dutch.)
But we don't care how ye say it! Your &Arrr!& should just come
from yer heart and yer bowels and be a fully formed expression o' yer
own Pirattitude!
Q. What does &savvy& mean?
A. Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for. For a time after the release
of &Pirates of the Caribbean, this was among our most-frequently-asked
questions.
The dictionary defines &savvy& as &wisdom, understanding.&
Used as a question,it can be taken to mean &get it?&
To help ye all remember, Cap'n Slappy has composed a little ditty:
It goes a little something like this:
S-is for the way you SASS my way!/ A-is for the ASS I kicked today!/
V and V-is VERY, VERY,/ stuck on how you're scary /Y-is for your YAP that's
flappin'/ cuz ye won't shut yer trap and ...
SAVVY is just how bright you seem to me./ SAVVY an understanding
wench, ye be. /Our love stands the measure /You know you're my buried
treasure /SAVVY is why you've chosen me!
Q. How about &Shiver me timbers&?
A. When the wind blows hard on a wooden ship, the timbers literally rattle.
This is a cause for surprise and concern ... therefore, &Shiver me
timbers& is an expression of surprise.
Update: According to correspondent David Heizer: &To
'shiver' is defined by Merriam-Webster as, 'to break into many small pieces
: shatter'. 'Tis not the mere rattlin' of the timbers in the wind that
strikes terror into the heart of a pirate, but the full and catastrophic
shiverin' (splinterin') of the mainmast (and other masts), whether by
gale winds or cannon, which would leave him dead in the water and at the
mercy of foe and starvation alike.&
Q. Me wants to know ...
A. This qualifies as the Faux Pirate Usage That Most
Often ( See question below).
T'quote the good Captain:
The use of &me& instead o' &I& when the personal
pronoun is the subject o' the sentence would be more fittin' to Talk
Like Thag the Caveman Day! &Me& doesn't have a &jolly
ask of ye,& - &I& do! Now, ye use the possessive form
&me& instead o' &my& - which ye do just fine in
&Catch me drift?& Which, of course, I don't.
Q. Have you heard the one about the pirate who walks into a bar
As Cap'n Slappy says:
Thar be only three pirate jokes in the world. The biggest one is the
one that ends with someone usin' &Arrr& in the punchline.
Oh, sure, thar be plenty o' these, but they're all the same damn joke.
&What's the pirate movie rated? - Arrr!&
&What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!&
&What's the problem with the way a pirate speaks? - Arrrrticulation!&
...and so forth.
The second joke is the one wear the pirate walks
into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers.
The bartender asks, &What the hell is that ships wheel for?&
The pirate says, &I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!&
And finally. A little boy is trick or treatin' on Halloween by himself.
He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, &Where
are your buccaneers?& The little boy responds, &On either
side o' me 'buccan' head!&
And there ye have it. A symposium on pirate humor that'll last ye a
lifetime - so long as life is violent and short.
And trust us, if you run into a fourth joke, we've heard that one, too.
If ye think it's a real winner, then send it to
instead o' sendin' it to us.
Q. Hey, have you heard about?
A. Yes. Again, Cap'n Slappy:
Aye, we're aware of the Rev. Bobby Henderson, the Flying Spaghetti
Monster and the Pastafarians and have been in communication with them! And while we remain staunchly pagan in
our religious practices, we do appreciate his scientific examination
of the link between pirates and global warming. Would that other proponents
of &religioscience& were even curious about it.
Q. How about the .
A. Yep, that too.
Q. Your Pirate Quiz/Pirate Pickup Lines are sexist! Where are
the good answers for female pirates, ye scurvy dogs?
A. is a much-abbreviated
version of a longer, more complete and more gender-balanced test that
apepared in our first (now out of print)
book. We're all for
female pirates, believe us (and if we said otherwise, the Lusty Wench
and the Web Wench would kick our butts). A woman can be a cap'n just as
well as a man - in fact, the most successful pirate ever was a woman,
Ching Yih Saoa, the widow of dread Chinese pirate Ching Yih. When he died,
she took over the prosperous family pirating business and made it immensely
more successful than ever. With a fleet of more than 1,000 junks divided
into five independent squadrons, Ching Yih Saoa was not only the most
successful woman pirate, she was easily the most successful pirate ever,
But OK, OK ... we've revised the online PPI test to make it more gender-balanced.
As for the , we've always
found they work equally well (depending on how you define &well&)
whether delivered by a guy trying to pick up a gal or a gal trying to
pick up a guy (or any other variation on that theme). But due to the high
demand, Cap'n Slappy has added a set o surefire pickup lines just for
the ladies. The No. 1 of which is:
&You. Pants off. Now.&
Q. Hey, you guys are great! Can I interview you for my newspaper/Weblog/TV
station/radio station?
A. Sure, why not? Be aware, though, that the closer
it gets to Sept. 19, the busier the Pirate Guys get (most years, they put
in several round-the-clock days with remote radio interviews alone, miss several days of work and get so little sleep they almost miss their own TLAPD parties!.) In an effort to save our sanity, we're trying
to plan ahead for 2004, so if ye want an interview, visit our
to get in touch. The guys are also open to personal appearances (David
Letterman, are ye listening?) if ye're willin' to foot the travel bill.
Q. The Pirate Guys? Aren't you a little full of yourselves?
A. Well, yes, we admit it. But we aren't the ones who
came up with that particular nom de pirate. The honor goes to Evan Grant,
a sports writer from the Dallas Morning News, who was looking for a different
story angle the Friday before the 2003 Super Bowl, which featured the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Oakland Raiders, both pirate-themed teams.
Grant remembered Dave Barry's column and managed to track us down. He
called looking for comments on the game from &the pirate guys.&
Ol' Chumbucket was particularly inarticulate that day, but fortunately
Cap'n Slappy was really &on,& and the result was a very amusing
column in the Dallas paper on Super Bowl Sunday - and a new nickname for
Q. How dare you guys take all the credit! Don't you know pirate
talk was practically invented by (fill-in-the-blank with yer favorite
pirate movie actor).
A. For the record: The Patron Saint of Talk Like A Pirate Day is the
late Robert Newton, who played, if not the first (that honor goes to Wallace
Beery) at least the definitive Long John Silver in Disney's 1950 version
of Treasure Island. The whole &arrrrrr, matey& thing seems to
have been Newton's own invention, and he milked - er, played it for all
it was worth, reprising the classic pirate in 1952's &Blackbeard,
the Pirate.&
But we liked Johnny Depp, too.
Q. What do I wear on Talk Like a Pirate Day?
A. You know, the Pirate Guys get this question a lot,
so pardon us if we sound just a little testy.
It's TALK like a Pirate Day, not DRESS
like a pirate.
You can certainly dress up in pirate garb if you want to, but that seems
like a lot of trouble to us. Besides, there already is a Dress Like a
Pirate Day. It's called Halloween. We are not huge fans of costume parties
(well, maybe we're huge, but we're not fans) and tend to go with what's
comfortable.
Ol' Chumbucket is partial to Hawaiian shirts, the gaudier the better,
while Cap'n Slappy prefers the &classic look,& i.e., any T-shirt
he finds in his laundry that doesn't smell too obvious.
If ye're still at a loss, , where ye'll find a wide variety of excellent
garb to help ye commemorate International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
Q. Speaking of booty, what happened to the &Pirate booty&
underwear? I was wantin' to get a pair fer me favorite wench!
A. Alas, the fine folks at cafepress sometimes add and remove products
without warning. It's a shame, but since we're too cheap to set up our
own store with actual inventory an' such (cafepress stores are free) we're
stuck with it.When they bring the panties back, we'll offer the &Booty& design (among others). Meanwhile, can
we interest ye in a nice thong? Or a pair of boxers?
Q. Not put a downer on all the fun, but aren't pirates &bad&
people? Don't they steal and kill and stuff?
A. Well ... yeah. You got us on that one.
Let's get this straight. Real pirates were and are bad people and are
in no way worthy of emulating.
We, on the other hand, are thinking of movie pirates, the pirates of
books, myth and legend. Think Long John Silver in &Treasure Island.&
Pretend pirates.
But Talk Like a Pretend Pirate Like Long John Silver was just too long
to catch on.
So when we urge you to TALK like a pirate, we don't mean you should ACT
like a pirate. The Pirate Guys are solidly against pillaging, plundering
and slaughtering like pirates.
Q. Wait a sec! Pirates weren't evil people! Their ships were
democratically organized and ... yada yada yada ...
A. Arrrrrgh. OK, all you pirate partisans just duke it out with the Pirates
Were Evil gang. We'll be over here drinkin' our grog.
Q. You keep talking about &guys.& Is there some difference
between guys and men?
A. Yes, and we're glad you asked that, because it gives us yet another
a chance to kiss a little ass of our close personal friend, Pulitzer Prize-winner
Dave Barry. He explains the difference as well as it can be explained
in his book, &Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys.& It's a very
funny book and explains why men can be trusted to run large corporations,
but guys shouldn't be trusted with a Salad Shooter. It's available at
your local bookstore or online at all the usual places. It's very funny.
Q. Can women be pirate guys?
A. They most certainly can. Being a pirate guy is a state of mind, not
a matter of chromosomes. It's about bringing the spirit of pirate adventure
into your daily life, and there's no reason women can't do that just as
well or even better than regular guys.
Some women were blessed at birth with the ability to enjoy fishing and
football and beer and gnawing on a plate of ribs, and some guys are lucky
enough to be married to them.
Q. What do you call a woman pirate?
A. What difference does it make what sex the person is once she’s
captured your ship and slit your throat?
There's no special term for a woman pirate. Anne Bonny was a pirate.
Mary Read was a pirate. Not &pirette& or &piratess&
or any other demeaning term. Just pirate. Oh, sure, you can refer to a
woman as a “wench,” and that has a piratey feel, but technically,
a woman pirate is still a pirate. In fact, using the term “woman
pirate” as if that’s somehow different than “pirate”
completely misses the point: Your cargo’s been stolen, your ship
is sinking and you might be dead. That’s the point. Everything else
is just details.
As Gertrude Stein might have written if she’d been a buccaneer
instead of an expatriate author – pirate is a pirate is a pirate.
Q. We notice in the Contact section of the site that there is
an e-mail link for wench . Is that one of the female
pirate guys you mention?
A. It sure is. That is Tori, the wife of Ol 'Chumbucket
- or as she prefers to be known, Mad Sally, the Lusty Wench. Ol' Chumbucket
knew he had found the perfect woman when she showed up at his apartment
to help cook ribs and watch a Super Bowl. Who could ask for anything more?
Q. We can't help noticing that your Web site, while a lot of
fun, is rather light on historical information about pirates and even
pirate lingo. What's up with that?
A. First, credit where credit is due. The fun stuff
was the work of our gifted, brilliant even godlike Webmaster (or as we
call her, Webwench) Pat Kight, aka Jezebel.
As to the lack of &serious& content, hey, have you noticed?
We're guys. Our idea of research involves more beer and pizza delivery
than actually looking things up. If we get something right, that's cool,
but it's not even close to our first priority.
There are plenty of on-line resources that are just chock full of factual
information and history and even classroom lesson plans on pirates. Find
some of 'em on our
Q. Where can I find a (English-to-pirate translator, pirate name
generator, piratical events, pirate performers, etc.)
A. Go to our
page. We've
got a long and growing list of things piratical that can be found elsewhere
on the Web, and it's worth explorin'. But before ye do, don't forget to
add this site to yer &favorites& or &bookmark& list
so ye can get back to us fer updates!
Q. Can I borrow your clip art/countdown clock?
A. Ye can get it the same place we did, fair an' square. The nifty pirate
cartoons (and loads o' other pirate images) can be purchased from
the TLAPD countdown clock is an adaptation of a nifty
little javascript doohickey written by Jim Tucek, and available free .
Q. Can I/my group/my Web site be the Official Talk Like A Pirate
Day (fill-in-the-blank)? Pleeeeeease?
A. The thought o' &official& goes against the grain o' the
freewheelin' spirite of pirattitude. True, we have &official&
and Australian Talk Like
A Pirate Day sites, but they got their requests in early, an' we may have
been drunk at the time. We've sobered up, an' it takes an especially entertainin'
or endearin' appeal - or a good bribe - to win the Pirate Guys Seal of
An it's risky, t'boot: After A former crewman induced us to declare the
decommissioned USSJohn Young the &Official Naval Vessel of Talk Like
A Pirate Day,& the Navy took her out t'sea and
for target practice.
Let that be a lesson to ye.
(However, we're also pretty free with the &official& monicker, so if you want to be the first-ever Official TLAPD Fill-in-the-Blank, just ask.)
Q. This may be off the subject, but is Ol' Chumbucket's favorite
quote something he once heard a co-worker say?
A. Funny you should mention that since we were reminded
of it by the answer to the last question.
In his newspaperin' days, Ol Chummy heard a reporter come back from interviewing
a &little old lady& and comment on the decor, saying, &The
knick-knack shelves were choc-a-bloc with bric-a-brac.&
Q. Don't you guys have lives?
A. No problem! We enjoy, even welcome nosy, personal
questions that try to dig into our personal lives!! Really!
have jobs with serious sounding titles attached to them.
We assume our employers would rather we leave them out of this. (We would
assure them that we're doing this all on our own time. Probably.)
Ol' Chumbucket has many kids, who also would just as soon not get dragged
into this.
Cap'n Slappy is past-president-for-life of a local civic organization,
and is even licensed to marry people! (He's available at reasonable rates.
Ask him for details!!) Mad Sally is a school teacher, and the Webwench is, well, a webwench.
Got yer own questions?